Time for a Rant

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#21? Oh fuck yes...

So I'm not sure I'd have believed this had I not seen it with my own eyes. It's true though, and I'd wager it's not the first time. In fact, I'd put money on it not being the last either.

Some silly bitch (that's right, I said bitch) thought it'd be a good idea to create an account here under the name 'Stephanie Meyer'... Not only did the idiot in question use that name, she actually claimed to be the writer of the massively over-rated and awfully written Twilight series. That's not the worst of it though. Before the Wattpad elves shut the account down, she (I'm assuming it's a she) had 36 fans, all of whom believed they were talking to the actual Stephanie Meyer.

What the fuck...?

Two things... first, what the fuck was the silly bitch thinking? Did she honestly believe she'd get away with her scam?

Second... how fucking retarded do you have to be to actually think that piss-awful writer would grace the pages of Wattpad. Actually now I think of it she might... to get ideas for more Twi-Shite storylines from the torrent of sparkly vampire fan fiction... which, funnily enough, brings me to another, much more important subject....

Vampires Don't Fucking Sparkle...

Seriously...

Now I'll freely admit vampires can be sexy as hell... James Marsters character in Buffy, Spike... he's one sexy fella and were I that way inclined, I definitely would. That said, he's still an absolute bastard. A torturing, murdering, rapist. Just like vampire should be.

Vampires do not go to school (or high school if you're from one of those countries)... vampires do not live in houses, and especially not houses with windows (if they do have windows, they have heavy fucking drapes)... vampires do not fall in love, not with anyone, especially not the ugly-as-fuck outcast girl... they have an obsession (which can easily be misconstrued as love)... the difference between love and obsession is generally the object of a vampire's obsession ends up dead... either drained completely of blood or relying upon said claret to survive...

So you think vampires sparkle if they go out in the sun?

Fuck off... don't be fucking stupid... what kinda' crap story telling is that? I'm sorry... but just 'cos some silly bitch made a fuck loada' cash flogging that horse, it don't make it right. Sorry but if I met a vampire (yes, I do believe they exist) and he/she sparkled in daylight, I'd piss myself...

There's a message to the madness that is this rant.

If you're going to write a vampire story, I encourage you to do so, but make sure you write an actual vampire story... not a story about some family cross-bred with a disco ball...

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