SDON'T HURT ME!
I know it's been a while but I've....
Heck, I've been doing nothing. I've just been procrastinating.
And eating fish tacos.
To many, I think. I feel fat.
THIS CHAPTER HAS TO DO WITH NOTHING AND WILL MAKE NO SENSE! IT MAY POSSIBLY BE THE WORST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN! IT'S REALLY JUST A FILLER UNTIL I HIT THE CLIMAX!
This chapter is craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
Word of the double attack on Justin and Nick al la ghostie spread fast. PEOPLES WAS THINKING HARREH DID IT! But he did not.
Harry is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
He really does have bad luck.
Like, Siriusly man.
Wait, that's next year.
WHAT THE LLAMA CHEESE AM I TALKING ABOUT?
What am I talking about?
So, Harry's being blamed, mkay? And I'm going to talk to my brother, then I go check out Gryffindor's study.
HEY! I'M IN GRYFFINDOR'S HOUSE!
I want iced tea. Or sweet tea. Or sweet iced tea.
I caught my brother after potions one day while absentmindedly wondering where my pussy was.
Like, my cat.
Not -- ew. You pervert.
"Draco...." I whispered in his ear. "The Llama Gods wish to speak to you."
He turned. "What do you want?"
"I WANT I WANT I WANT BUT THAT'S CRAZY!" I sang at the top of my lungs.
"You high man?"
"Possibly," I said. "Look, are you or are you not attacking dem shmexxi muggle-borns?"
"I thought you were," Draco said. I rolled my eyes.
"My best friend is muggle-born, you idiot," I said. "People think it's Harry. Harry thinks it's you."
"Me?" Draco said. "I wish I were, but we're not descended from Slytherin."
"That's what I said!" I said exasperatedly. "But they won't believe me!"
"Your friends are stupid."
"Your's are goons."
"STUPID GOONS!" I yelled.
"You're a stupid goon," Draco said like a toddler.
"No you are!" I said, also like a toddler.
"What are we doing?" Draco asked me.
"I have no idea," I said. "But I have places to go and things to see!"
I left him hanging, because I'm boss.
I headed in the direction of the tower, or what I believed was the direction of the tower. As I walked down a corridor somewhere I believed was the fifth floor, a door with only a knocker opened suddenly, and Azalea walked out.
At least I think it was Azalea. Her hair was green, which I'm sure only Azalea would do.
"JINX YOU LLAMA CHEESE BALLS PENIS VAGINA!" she yelled in my ear.
"AZALEA YOU TREE BOOK BOOB TONGUE BANANA!" I yelled in her ear.
She grinned. "Whatcha doing this way, chicklet?"
"Searching for a special place," I replied.
"And that means...?"
"It means I'm looking for a tower over looking the entire grounds," I explained. "There's something that could possibly stop this Heir of Slytherin nonsense."
"Yeah... how's Harry doing?" Azalea asked as we strolled down the corridor.
"Not well," I admitted. "He's mopping around like a cat. Speaking of cats, have you seen Pepsi?"
"Is she like, tuxedo-ish?"
"Bitch," I said. "Just kidding," I added, noticing the look on her face.
"I knew that," she said. She ran her hand through her hair, a rainbow flashing as he fingers raked across her colourful head.
"Dude, that's sweet," I said.
"What's sweet?" she asked, looking at me strangely.
"Your hair goes all rainbow when you run your fingers through it," I informed her.
"Really?" She looked absolutely delighted. "That never used to happen!"
"Can your like, metamorphmagus ability upgrade or whatever?" I asked her.
Azalea nodded excitedly. "Who knows, maybe I can change size now!"
"Try it!" I urged. She closed her eyes and scrunched her eyebrows.
"No dice," she said, sighing.
|Chloe Moretz||as Jessica "Jinx" Malfoy|
|Daniel Radcliffe||as Harry Potter|
|Rupert Grint||as Ronald Weasley|
|Emma Watson||as Hermione Granger|
|Tom Felton||as Draco Malfoy|
|Ryan Newman||as Azalea Dolt|