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My Life as a High School Stripper

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"No, Mom, seriously, you don't have to."

"Sweetie, you know I am whether you like it or not."

I sighed. Well, ever since Mom returned to her sane self, she was all about my life. She decided to become principal, 'cause you know, it's so easy to become a principal when you have no college experience or anything. Not. Then she was insisting on becoming the cheer leading coach.

"But we don't need a cheer leading coach," I told her.

She turned to me. "You're going to deal with me, Sweetheart, whether you like it or not."

I frowned and sat on the couch. "Fine."

"That's better." She went into the kitchen and started to cook up supper.

It was only a matter of time until she told me I couldn't be a stripper. I loved being a stripper. It was fun and I loved my friends. I made lots of money. I could dance. What more could I want (other than Caesar)? I went into the kitchen and watched her cook. Don't get me wrong. I love seeing my mother be a mother.

"Mom?" I asked, as I sat at the table while she cooked something weird.

"Yes?" she replied, not turning around.

"Well...I really enjoy being a stripper."

She didn't turn around or say anything.

"I mean, I don't actually strip - like, at all really. I enjoy dancing and I have a lot of friends, too. It's not as skeezy as you might think it is. It's actually pretty high class. So, you know...don't make me quit doing it. Please?"

She sighed. "Fine. Even if I told you 'no,' you'd probably keep doing it."

I smiled. "Thanks Mommy."

We had a game the next day. Despite how annoying my mother was, she knew what she was doing when she coached us. Everyone was pretty excited to see Mom back in action. She looked fucking amazing. I take after her a lot, with the pale skin and black hair, but her hair is always perfect. It's simple, short, and wavy and she never does anything with it, which makes me jealous. She has very dark eyes, and they're not brown-that-looks-black but they actually look like a dark grey. She's short, too, and since my dad was super tall, they were so creepily adorable when they went on their raids together.

Anyway, I'd occasionally go slightly mad and see things that weren't there at games. It was mostly with people. Dad would be there. Caesar would be there. Then random people I've never seen would be there, and I'd know that they weren't actually there though because I'd point them out and no one else would see them. They were quite bizarre looking. I'd see three boys and three girls typically. They wouldn't look the same, and yet they each had something peculiar about them that made them similar. One boy was tall and pale with this very bizarre grey-black colored hair, but he'd be my age and so the hair was off-setting. He had pale skin and green eyes that were very similar to Caesar. In fact, he kind of looked a lot like Caesar. There was also a girl who was quite petite and she had this incredibly long, long black hair. Her eyes were an ice blue and she looked like a little minx. They all looked a like, either very short or very tall with black hair, pale skin, and either blue or green eyes.

"I think I see my children," I said to Mom after the game.

"Yeah, I saw you a few times before I had you," she said. "I only ever saw you, and I only ever had you."

"I see six of them."

She snorted a laugh as she sped down the street. It was a 20mph road, but we were going forty in our black station wagon (but it had been turned into a car meant to be used after the Apocalypse, meaning you could stand in the back and shoot away). "Good luck with that," she said to me.

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