Fear and Secrets - A Remus Lupin One-Shot

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Remus awoke to soreness and aches. It wasn't unusual on the day after the full moon, but he'd never be able to get used to the feeling. Lucky I didn't scratch myself too badly. He thought tiredly.

With his sensitive hearing he heard Madam Pomfery making her way through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. He hurried to get dressed into the clothes that had been left for him despite his inability to string together coherent thoughts. Tired. That summarized his world.

The matron peeked through the hidden door, checking to make sure he was clothed. When she was satisfied she stepped over the threshold into the dingy cottage and made her way through the debris toward Remus where he had curled up on the floor.

"Remus, Mr. Lupin, It's time to get going dear." she said kindly, pity evident in her voice. He despised her pity. She had no idea how he felt, no idea what happened one night every month.

The boy grimaced and barely covered a gasp of pain as he stood up, stretching his tiredness away. He looked up into the woman's grey-green eyes and saw pity and kindness. Pity. He thought derisively as he attempted to take a few steps. I don't need their pity.

Struggling to contain his groans of pain, Remus and Madam Pomfery carefully exited the Whomping Willow's passageway, Remus covered in an invisibility cloak that belonged to Professor Dumbledore. The matron exited first in order to secure the tree, then the young werewolf stepped into the chilly dawn, shivering slightly in the cold November air. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, the sky grey and cloudy, a reflection of his mood.

As they walked across the grounds covered in frost he tried to come up with yet another excuse to give his friends for being in the hospital wing the whole day. It was his third year and he was running out of reasons to be absent from school on the day of the full moon. What did I tell them I was doing? Visiting my mother? No, I did that last month... My great aunt died? Yeah, that's the one. He thought.

They paused for a moment as Madam Pomfery opened the huge oak doors leading to the entrance hall. It was still too early for anyone to be going down to the Great Hall for breakfast, so the school was silent and still. A few birds could be heard through the windows as the two of them ascended the stairs to the hospital wing, their songs floating over the quietness of the halls.

As Remus slid into his usual bed at the far end on the ward he sighed. Even though the deception of his only friends was necessary, it was no less painful to conceal his lycanthropy. He dreaded what would happen when James, Sirius and Peter found out his secret. Would they turn on him? Desert him? They wouldn't be the first. He thought. He vividly remembered his uncle's reaction to his bite, even though he had only been five years old.

*Flashback*

Five year old Remus was lying in a bed at St. Mungos, in a room lined with silver. At the moment he was laying in the bed, utterly bored, as there was nothing for him to do. The Healers were too afraid to stay in the room with him and his parents had left to meet his cousins, aunt and uncle who would be visiting him later in the day. He had wards around the bed to keep him from getting up, but even if he had been able to move around the floor and walls would shock him if he touched them.

He shifted and winced as he nudged the bandages covering his right shoulder, where the bite was still fresh. At only a week after the attack the injury hurt whenever it was touched.

A noise from outside the door caused Remus to sit up. He listened closely and heard indistinct voices getting louder. The door swung open, revealing his two older cousins, Alexandra and Jason. They were seven year old twins and were full of energy, excited to see their cousin. Because the twins came from his mother's side of the family they were Muggles, but they still knew about the magical world.

"Hey Lexi! Hey Jason!" Remus said excitedly, perking up.

"Hey cuz!" Jason said, "How're you doing, Rem?"

"Better than I was last week." Remus sighed. "But I'm so bored."

"It's okay." Alexandra consoled. "I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time!"