Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom

Chapter Eighteen

In a mere twenty-four hours I went from testing fine white powder with holy water for end-of-the-world potential to serving funnel cakes on the softball field beside St. Mary’s Cathedral.

Such is the variety that keeps my life so spicy.

I still didn’t know where the Lazarus Bones were any more than I knew (definitively) who was supposed to schlep them out of the cathedral and into Goramesh’s hot little demon hands. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement, and if my smile was a little less chipper than it should be for a parish fair, well, you can just chalk it up to the demons.

“Mo-om!” Allie came up, Timmy perched on her hip. “Do I really have to cart him around? I’m not going to meet anyone cool if I’ve got my brother attached to me.”

“It’s a church fair, sweetheart, not The Dating Game.”

She made a face. “I told you,” she said. “I don’t always think about boys.”

“Just on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?”

“Right,” she said, her grin impish. “And on alternating Tuesdays.”

“Well, it’s Friday,” I said. “Who’s today’s lucky object of your lust?”

“Nobody,” she said with a heavy sigh. “All the good ones are weird.”

I knew she was thinking about Stan, and my gut twisted. I’d seen a small item in that morning’s paper. Todd Greer—who’d so miraculously survived an attack by a vicious dog just a few days ago—had raced out of the mall and run in front of a bus. He’d been killed instantly. Even though I knew he wasn’t human, I’d still felt a twinge of sadness. Residual, I suppose, for the boy he used to be.

I smiled at my daughter, the girl I wanted so badly to keep safe. I suppose I should have assured her that there were plenty of nonweird men out there, but I kept my mouth shut. She’d learn soon enough.

“Why don’t you see if Laura will watch Tim?” I suggested after serving a funnel cake to a man in a UCLA T-shirt.”

“I looked for her. I can’t find her anywhere.” She aimed the puppy-dog pout my way. “Gramps said he’d watch Tim.”

“Leave the baby with Gramps, and you’ll find yourself cell phone-less.” I could play dirty when I had to.

An anguished moan, followed by “whatever.”

“Why don’t you wait for Stuart? He promised to be here by six-thirty.”

“It’s only six, mom. That’s another half hour.”

“Oh, the torment,” I said.

“When do you get off?”

“Now, actually, but I have some things I have to do.” Like sneak down into the archives and hope that inspiration hit.

“Mo-ther. You’re ruining my social life.”

“I know. I’m evil.” I stepped back to let Tracy Baker take over as the funnel-cake queen, then I slid out of the booth and came around to face my daughter. “Your best bet is Laura. I’m sure she’s around here with Mindy, isn’t she?”

From Allie’s sigh, you’d think I’d just told her she had three weeks to live. “I don’t know. I’ll go look for them. Again.”

She trudged off, Timmy happily batting at her dangly earrings.

Allie may not have found Laura, but I had no problems locating her. Although Laura isn’t Catholic, the parish fair is big in the community, and she and I go every year. Usually we scope out the various booths and buy handmade knick-knacks and stupid gifts. This year we were on a quest.