Of course, I gave my mother way too much credit. She knew how I liked Greyson's music and she saw him on Ellen all the time, it being her favorite show. Maybe, for a minute second I thought she might react like a civilized ADULT (insert emphasis here) but no, of course not. Instead, she stares. Her white teeth completely visible perched inside her gaping mouth. Cue the embarrassment now.
"Mom, this is Greyson. Greyson this is Ma." Imagine the dramatic lemur on youtube, yeah, that was my mom's twin. "Mother," I speak in a singsong voice. I can feel the awkwardness radiating off of Greyson's body. "Mom," I begin a little more sternly. Now I am no longer embarrassed but annoyed. Couldn't Greyson be treated like normal? Staring was rude and made you feel vulnerable, believe me, I knew.
"Mom, drive!" My sudden urgency causes her to step on the gas and take off towards the condo. "We need to get Alexandria back to her house, the soccer game is in an hour and they can't play without their Goalie." She nods and continues to eye Greyson in the rear-view mirror. When I am certain she is completed in her stalking gaze I whisper to Greyson, "Sorry about that." He chuckles and combs his hair with his fingers, something every male celebrity thinks he must do.
"Nawh, it's fine." Exhaling in exasperation, I feel bad for making him endure that torment of the inherited golden eyes of my mother. "No, it's not. I'm sorry, I wish I could make it up to you." He smiles at me with those perfect, white, Hollywood-style teeth, and answers airily, "Well, you could always tell me a little about yourself." There was his cocky side again. Can't this boy make up his mind on his personality? I swear he was bipolar.
I know I shouldn't really get ticked at a simple thing as wanting to know me but I just did. So many years ago I had experienced what people who "cared" could do with your secrets. I was determined to never trust anyone else with them again, even Aj or James didn't know. But what I couldn't handle was the way Aj was eyeing me up at my coldness towards Greyson. I hadn't said anything to him verbally but my attitude to his requests kind of gave it away.Whatever, she could be mad.
"Sorry, I won't bring it up again." Greyson responds. I roll my eyes and glue my eyes to the window, observing the passing terrain of the swampland. Right now I wanted to curl up in a ball and just scream at the sky, letting out all my emotions. I wanted to be sitting on the dock, with the balls of my feet grazing the water, tasting the island air. My mind begins to turn. I can practically here the cogwheels clanging against each other. That sounded like the perfect line for a song. I needed to keep it there in my head for later, for my escape.
So, as I sit there in the car next to the pop-star and my best friend I rerun the lines in my head trying to overlook my previous thoughts and wanting to be anywhere but here.
I rest my head on my forearms on the balcony letting the wind whip my hair back. Alexandria had left over an hour ago and was probably kicking some serious defensive butt. I can't get the image of her out of my head of her getting into her mothers car. The look on her face that I could read without words wouldn't disappear. She was surprised by my attitude. I had never acted that way around her. Sliding my phone's lock screen, I re-read the message she had sent right after she left.
Wats wrong? Y dont you want G to know about you. Tell me -SwaggedOutBrah
I hated not telling her but how could I? It was a secret I had buried for years and there was no way I was going to unearth it now. It was six feet under and was going to stay that way. But something inside me whispered, No it's not, Drew. You have to tell someone. No, I didn't. I had gone on three years with it, I could do it another thirty if I needed to. But, a little demon betrays me and a tear slides down my face. No, there was no time for that. Suddenly, as if triggered by emotion, I grab my guitar and race down barefoot to the beach. The sand, still warm from the afternoon sun seeps between my toes. The sun catches my hair, setting it ablaze.
Racing to the dockside I set my feet in the water. Inhaling the air, the taste of the surf and salt settle on my tongue. Subconsciously, I strum my guitar until it sounds somewhat decent. Then I begin with the lyrics. Singing to myself, my voice fills the air, "Sat there on the dock with both my feet grazing' the water, I can taste the island beaches on my tongue." What stops me is the buzzing of my phone. Setting down my guitar, I pick it up and open up the new message. A picture of a beautiful little girl's face fills the screen and i nearly drop my phone. Suddenly, I am crying.