Letters to my dead lover

Letter 1: 3days after
I wish I could have taken back what I said. When we fought. I do love you, Rusty. Im sitting here, knowing it's my fault you are dead. Love means nothing to me now that you're gone. The only one I want is gone now.
I will tell you the truth, after Zane knocked on my door at three in the morning and I saw you, I was scared. Who hurt you!? I said.
Then Zane shook his head and laid you down and I knew...
You were dead.
Not just dead, but you had killed yourself.
I know it's my fault. The second I saw you I knew it was all my fault. Damn it! Why couldn't I save you?!
....the others tried to comfort me. I hope they burn in hell
How can I be comforted by small words that aren't meant?
I love you Rusty,
DANE EVANS
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okay, this is the first letter Dane wrote to Rusty and placed on his gravestone... I'm bawling still! Damn you SF for writing that What If!!