Dear Colton Daniel Scott

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Dear Colton Daniel Scott,

I can feel the whole train shake with every track, each small stretch of wood that lifts this whole damn metal thing just enough to mess up my writing. It's funny how the smallest thing can change the course of a so much bigger thing so seemingly effortlessly, huh? Years ago, workers had put endless hours and hours of blood and sweat to make these old rusty tracks that are putting distance between us as of now. One thing they will never know, is that they changed the course of this stupid girl named Aubrey Lane's life. Because as of today, these are the tracks that will stretch any strings or ropes or whatever you want to call the things that kept us together to their snapping point. I will finally be free from you, your beautiful blue eyes and your warm, honey colored skin. 

Do you know whats even funnier? The world is so much bigger than what we are. Doesn't that make you sad? Don't you ever look up at the lights that break up the endless black of the night sky and wonder why you're so stuck on one fucking person out of six billion? Theres so many other letters that make words that all compose a billion stories of every single body and mind walking on this Earth, and this thing me and you had thrown together was so brilliant it gave me the illusion, even just for a little while, the spotlight was on us.   

I look around now, seeing an old man with a droopy face and a balding head holding the hand of the sleeping old woman with her head resting on his shoulder. It breaks my heart, they're happy as far as I know, together holding the weight of their stories that had weaved together into one. I see another man, resting his eyelids, unshaven and his hair a mess. Under his chin, a roll of fat jiggles with every disturbance of the train. Here we are, four people on a train to a place I'm not going to tell you, with our own stories, our own reasons. I don't know them, and they don't know me, I'm holding my own story, a heavy weighty story I'm struggling with. But now I'm asking you to take all this excess weight, everything about you. I'm giving it back to you Colton, I dont need it anymore. 

Because I'm telling you now, we were just a story. Like the old man and the old woman, or maybe the rough looking man. We had our chance to live it through, and I can feel "the end" as if those words were tangible. Now they are. Look at them Colton, that's what we are now, this is what its come to. We were just two hearts that had wound together hopelessly and naturally, two mouths that whispered dozens of promises that someone had to know wouldn't come true. And I'm telling you, I was so certain at the beginning you were it. You are beautiful. So damn beautiful.

That's what this world does though. It screws us over sometimes. It gives me rain rolling down the window of this dimly lit train, each bump in this road thats taking me anywhere far from you. I can't see the stars on this cloudy night, but they're up there. They have a plan for me, and for you. It's not what I had dreamed of the first night I met you, and I danced around my room. Not what I told you we would be the nights I spent wrapped up in your strong arms. It most likely isn't even what I'm imagining right this very moment. But it's something, there is something up there.

I'm shifting my weight, getting a new perspective. I'm coming to reality that there is so much more than me and you. And my future, I'm getting a grip. So heres to us, Colton. Heres to the beautiful thing we called us. Truth is, I loved you so fucking much. But as to our story, here it is.

And this is why I left you.

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