Hi guys. I'm writing a novel and I need your opinion on it.
This is the prologue to the story, and I need comments on how to make it better.
Enjoy and I hope to get it published, in book form.
It was fall and the trees had just turned to the stage in which they are on fire. The colors glared at me through the window. My twin sister, Johanna, running up said "the green monsters are back.
I looked at her and said "what green monsters?"
Before she could answer, my mom called me from my room. Knowing not to question my mother, I stumbled into the hallway. I looked at her. Her face was as white as a ghost and her eyes, they showed fear. That's when I saw it, them, they, whichever you want to call them. It was like a praying mantis, even with the four arms. It lunged at me its arms spread outward. I ducked I saw well, teeth that had blood on them. My father's blood was splattered on them, intermingled with bits of flesh. A pistol fired. I turned around and saw my mother standing there, holding my dad's gun. She looked different. She was wearing her yellow diamond ring, but she also looked ready to kill. She turned from the carcass. Her hazel eyes gleamed at me as she grabbed my sisters and ran out the door. We ran out the door and down the street. People were running back and forth as the creatures chased them. A woman, with blonde hair and skin so pale it was almost translucent, lead an army of the monsters. Two small children followed her, both with black hair. Johanna grabbed my hand. My other sister shouted something at my mother as another creature ran toward us. My mom shot it in the head. Another came at us and my vision went out of focus. I blinked and my eyes cleared. When I looked back up, the monster had somehow knocked my mom to the ground. I screamed as it raised its claw and stabbed her.
It turned toward me and I saw its face. There was a scar right above its left eye. My sister shouted at us to run, and we did. We ran into the woods. I collapsed after we had gotten in there. As I did, I heard a male voice, that was gruff but still compassionate. I recognized it but, like all things important, didn't pay much attention to it. I started to run again with my sister right behind me. It ran into a tree and looking up, saw my savior. She was a female, and had pale blue skin. She was much like a human, and had gills on her wrists. I heard a screeching sound and looking back, saw that one of the monsters had followed us. The woman, who was no older than twenty, pulled a dangerous looking gun off her belt. She fired and as the creature blew apart, smiled. Johanna was hit on the forehead by one of its arms. I felt woozy, seeing it explode. Collapsing, I felt hands pick me up and carry me away.
I woke up in a bed. The flannel sheets caressed me as I sat up. I looked out the window that stood by my bed, and saw terra. Earth was no more. It had been conquered. And they ruled with an iron fist. They, the descendants of one of the most evil people to walk the face of the earth, and his followers. The hutlarians.
