I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

32 ~ More of Him

My foot slipped forward but I stopped. There was no way I was going to do something that embarrassing in public.

"Are you okay?" the concern in his voice grew with each second I didn't respond. Julian was now standing next to Haden. The Goosebumps on my skin didn't vanish. They returned every time with a chill when I said his name inside my head.

"We need to get you inside. It's freezing out here!" he exclaimed and walked towards me. He was right. I realized that I could no longer feel the tips of my fingers or my toes. He came in closer and adjusted the coat that was around me and covered my torso. His warm breath materialized in front of him and brushed on my face. I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling everything he was doing. Hearing every breath he took, every slip of his foot.

I swallowed, my throat went dry and so did my lips. My nose was numb and my cheeks were red with blood rushing to warm them.

"Derek?" he said my name again, but this time it was in a whisper. I felt his breath as he spoke my name. Why was it that he loved to say my name so much, why was it that I loved to hear him say my name like that?

I knew why, because I liked him,

No it was more than liked.

I loved him.

Without my knowledge my arms swung around his shoulders and pulled him in. the coat slipped from my shoulders and fell onto the cold stone path. I kept my eyes shut tightly as I could and didn't move, I held my position locking my arms around his shoulders. I shivered as the wind blew past and touched my bare back. I felt him stiffen and could hear beat his heart pick up. His body slowly relaxed and his strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me in closer. "You're going to get yourself sick." He said, then suddenly he let go and I felt something warm covering my back. It was some kind of material. Then I realized that it was his coat... but when did he have a coat?

"Let's go Derek" he whispered.

Why?

"No" I muttered into his shirt and tightened my grip. "Wait."

"It's not good for you to be out here" he whispered.

Wasn't he getting what I was trying to say? I asked myself annoyed.

What did I have to do for him to understand?
"Haden.." my voice trailed, I didn't have the courage to do it.

"Please don't go..." I mumbled keeping my head down and pushed against his shirt.

"Go?..." he asked, I knew he was wondering what the hell I was talking about. "okay. Well we seriously need to get you inside one way or another" He replied pressing his hand against my back.

I let out an embarrassing yelp when I felt my feet leave the ground.

"Can you please put me down..." I said unintentionally looking up at his face. I broke our unexpected eye contact immediately and looked down, letting go of him and he let me down.

Now what was I supposed to do? I wondered as I followed Haden's lead. He muttered something to Julian at the door and I saw him leave.

It was just the two of us walking down the hall to my room. Once we got there the nurse was waiting with her arms crossed. By the time I got back into the hospital bed I was not feeling great. The nurse adjusted all the equipment that was on me, wiped my feet dry and threatened me that she would kill me if I left the room again or if the equipment went off accidentally.

We were back where we were before. It was just him and I in the room. I didn't know where Julian had gone, nor did I care.

"Well then... Derek. I'l-"