Stop. Just Stop.

Funky Scents

Chapter 17: Funky scents

His scent was absolutely glorious, mouth-watering goodness. He smelled like rain and pine.

Oh, she looked ravishing, just gorgous and edible-looking. She smelled of grass and apples.

Um, eww.

I don't know about you, but if someone said I smelled like grass, I'd take that as a serious insult. The fuck I smell like grass for?! And, then the combination of both smells is enough to make you sick to your stomach.

But, why do they have to smell like two things? Why not one? Why not seven?

Apples and cinnamon never smelled so good! Um, there's this cereal, it's called Apple Jacks, looks like Fruit Loops, except it's like two colors. Ring a bell? Yeah, I rather not smell like cereal.

Then, there's those authors that make you smell, and I quote "woodsy".

Nigga!

Can you explain to me what that smells like? If some one said I smelled "woodsy" my ass would stop by the nearest Walmart and buy as much scented soaps and take my ass a nice bath. No, shower. Baths are nasty, laying in your own dirt...

Real talk though, the word "woodsy" brings me to to belive I smell like the fucking Tropical Rainforest. I do not want to smell like that, you shouldn't want to either...

Then we got the people saying you smell like flowers and something you find in your spice cabinet. Ahem, for example; Vanilla and roses, she smelled so delightful. Okay, I'll say this right now, flowers smell disgusting, I can not get myself to like flowers at all. So smelling like them is a big no-no.

They don't look all that bad, though.

When someone says vanilla, my mind wanders off to ice cream. The first thing that would come to mind from that word, I assure you, will not be my mate's scent.

Why can't y'all say they smell like cologne or body mist. I know they're all mystical creatures that have a unique scent that apparently only their mate can smell. But, c'mon, let them have a couple human qualities.

No?

Fine then!

Just trynna help a nigga out...