Confessions Of A Loser


Since about the fourth grade I've been bullied, teased, called fat and ugly. Today I stand tall, and self loving. It took me awhile, but from the help of my friends and family. I've come to understand I am beautiful and worth more than what I have gotten in my life. For all of you who think you are ugly, fat, a loser trust me you aren't. You are perfect the way you are. Don't change for anyone. Believe in yourself and love yourself without self love anyone can put you down. 

To all you girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size 0, you’re the beautiful one, it’s society who’s ugly. - Marilyn Monroe 

The girl in this story, myself, is a heavy set girl in her teens. She has long brown hair, brown eyes ( that I like to call the color of poop why couldn't I get blue eyes? Dumb genetics.), She wears a size 14 pants (at the time), her breast a kinda on the big side ( C Cup), goofy grin, out of style pony tail, always wears jean and a sweater to try to hide her body.  

Fourth Grade: This is where it all started.  (Well, this is when I started to lose all my confidence.) Note that in this I had already been bullied at another school, not as bad as this school, but just as hurtful.  

Being a new kid at school is hard and I should know this isn't the first time I became the "new kid". Being the new kid on your first day of school you walk into the class room. Everyone is looking you up and down, as if you aren't already nervous about a new school, you want are just standing there waiting for your teacher to give you a desk to sit at. Even after you get your desk and you are settled in people still stare you down. And all you think is because something is wrong, your clothes don't match, your hair is a mess, there's something in my teeth. You only think the worst. I know I always did. After the awkward introducing yourself, your name, where you are from, something you enjoy, and sitting back down, and some more awkward stares. Everyone just about goes back to their normal business. Then comes lunch time and you are nervous and asking yourself so many questions. "Where am I going to sit?" "Is someone going to invite you to sit with them?" "Which tables belongs to who?" You don't know any of these answers. You are going through the lunch line and a girl, let's say her name is Lexi, asks you to sit with her and her friends. The whole time you are thinking to yourself "Yes! I'll have some new friends." You sit with these girls for the next week or so. You're still a little nervous so you don't talk much, but some of the girls try to converstate with you. Lexi and you become kinda of good friends for the first couple weeks of school. (Let's not leave out Lexi is one of the popular girls.) Lexi invites you to join her in a guidance meeting she has. You go and you hear about Lexi's problems. You think "She trusts me enough to hear this? She must like me." A couple days later Lexi stops talking to you. When you sit at the table no one talks to you anymore. Months later you end up alone at a table by yourself. No one to talk to you. Everyone stares at you still though you've been going to school with them for almost three months now. Not to mention they are talking about you. You hear whispers when you walk by and other girls giggling at you.  You have become an outcast.  

Now this is just the beginning of my story. The bullying has yet to begin. It gets worse. This is just an introduction to how my confidence started to get lower and none existence.

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