Let Me Breathe Again (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Eighteen:

Holland’s Pov:

I’m Lost:

I could feel her arms wrap around my shoulders as tears fell down my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I leaned against her chest, letting the waterfall pour down my face. Audrey stood there with me silently on the cold snowy afternoon as we watched his casket lower slowly into the cold earth. I could hear the priest going on and on about his life; how he didn’t have enough time to spend with his friends and “family”. I could feel anger rise into my chest as it tightened, my jaw clenched in roughness. Rey must have sensed my annoyance as she rubbed her hands up and down my arms. I let out of ragged, cold, breath as I opened my eyes, passing a glance at the people who showed up. I noticed that a few of the actual staff members that worked with him had showed up, a fewer amount of students that knew of him, and the Dean of Medicine. She looked up to me with a saddened look. I averted my eyes though as I felt my chest twinge.

                “Joshua Rose was a wonderful boy…” I kept hearing from everyone. “He loved his short time on this earth…. He loved you so much Holland.” That’s all anyone was able to say. Oh, let’s not forget the whole sorry for you lose crap. Then again I doubt there was really nothing else to say in a situation like this one… I just didn’t want to hear any bit of it.

                After the funeral there was a party for everyone to honor his life I guess. I was of course invited, but didn’t move from my spot as I watched them cover up the small area where his casket was; snow fluttering lightly onto the newly compacted ground. Audrey didn’t say a word as she let go of me when I moved towards his tombstone. I looked down at the words that I was fortunate to pick that summed up his short life. I kneeled down to stare at the freshly etched words:

Joshua William Rose

2002-2011

“I will forever catch them all in Heaven!”

                I closed my eyes as I leaned my head against the cold granite, not giving a care in the world that snow was beginning to collect on my shoulders. “I’ll miss you so much….” I whispered, hoping somehow he was able to hear me. I kissed his name as I stood up. I looked over my shoulder at Audrey to see her smile sadly as she nodded, propped up on her crutches. I pulled out four of Joshua’s favourite Pokémon cards: Charizard, Pigeot, Zaptos, and of course Pikachu.  I reached into my purse for the tape and taped each one above his name, hopefully well enough so they didn’t fly away. “I hope you’re playing with all the great poke-masters up there buddy…” I whispered as I looked up to the sky. I sighed as I turned around, noticing that snow was really starting to cover the ground as I walked back over to Audrey. I stopped to look up at her slightly before I laid my glove covered hand upon her cheek, rubbing it with my thumb. I watched as she closed her eyes and a tear slipped down.

“I feel like this is all my fault….” She cried out lightly. “I feel like I didn’t get him there in time-.” I placed my finger on her lips, making her stop that incorrect thought. She opened her eyes as she stared down at me confused. I simply shook my head as I leaned up and kissed her. I pulled away once I felt her body tense against my own.

                “No baby…” I shook my head once more, “He fought this for so many years… you gave him an amazing last day…” I said as tears flew down my cheeks. “I think… he would have wanted you to happy for him, how you made him laugh and smile and play.” Audrey held me tightly as she kissed me. I smiled as we pulled away, “Come on, let’s go.”

                “Are you sure?” She asked as she rubbed my arms. I looked over my shoulder to his tombstone and gave a sad smile.

                “He would yell at me if sat here all day and cried. He’d say something like ‘Don’t be an idiot! You’ll catch a cold here you moron!’“ I laughed at how right I most likely was. Rey smiled at me as she let go of me to balance on her crutches.