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tagalog jokes


jokes, jokes, jokes and many more...


russian: we are 1st in space.

US: we are 1st is moon.

Erap: we are 1st in SUN!

russian and US: you cant go there you'll burn!

Erap: were not stupid, we'll go there at night!  



Junjun: Pa, may multo daw sa kusina natin? 

Papa: Anak, sino naman nagsabi sa iyo niyan? 

Junjun: Si Mama po! 

Papa: Ay nako, wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! wala namang multo eh! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina at iinom lang ako ng tubig!! 



Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo? 

Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok. 

Ama: Ano, madali ba? 

Anak: Chicken na chicken! 

Ama: Anong grade mo? 

Anak: Itlog po.  




A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students the 

teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade.My sister is in the 

third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 

third-grade too!"

The Teacher had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While 

the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the 

principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he 

would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his 

questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he 

agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade 

should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think 

Boy can go to the third-grade." the teacher says to the principal, "I 

have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree. 

the teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two 


Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Teacher : "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy.: "Pockets."

Teacher : What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, 

delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The 

principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, 

Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a 

dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before 

he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I 

get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The 

best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit 


Boy.: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow 

me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of 

heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get 

it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men 

than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife 

after they're married?


Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of 

veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!" 



Reporter: Nguang nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee? 

> Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e. 

> Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon? 

> Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know... 



Anak: Nay, yung girlfriend ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impierno. 

Nanay: Sige, pakasalan mo anak, ipatikim mo sa kanya ang langit, ako na ang bahala sa impierno.  



Isang ina ang nagsilang ng napakapangit na sanggol. 

Ama: Isa syang kayamanan. 

Ina: Oo, nga! Ibaon natin!...... .  



Lalake: Pag tayo na, magkasama na nating haharapin ang mga problema.

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