A/N) Sorry for the lack of updates :/ Writer’s block I guess? And school. Urgeburg. I’m trying now though(: Enjoy<3
I lay in my bed, tears in my eyes, thinking. Dad just left my room after he got his full of me. He makes me feel so worthless when he uses me. Like the whore and slut he says I am. I don't know what to do. I believe him though I know I shouldn't. I don't even fight him off anymore, just let him do what he wants. I’m sweaty, a mess, and tired. I start to wipe myself down with the cloth I keep beside my bed when I hear my phone go off:
'How could you, how could you, how could you, how could you hate me when all I ever wanted to be was you? How could you, how could you, how could you love me, when all you ever gave me, were open wounds?'
I looked at my phone to see a text from Brit. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone but reluctantly open the text. “Hey girlie, are you okay? You were really upset when you left” I sigh… if only I could tell her… “Meh. I’m fine. Just forgot I had to be home for dinner tonight,” I send her. As I continue to wipe myself off, I start to think about Brit. How innocent she looks with her big, brown eyes, how full her lips look, how creamy her skin is, and how good she smells whenever I’m around her. I wish I could be with her, but theres no way. Im almost positive she's straight. It would never happen.
“Oh, okay. Uhm… can I come over? My mom’s pissing me off. I don’t want to be around her right now.” I get up, slip on an oversized t-shirt and panties, and walk out of my room. I check my dad’s bedroom door and hear him snoring and moaning. I shudder, thoughts of what he may be dreaming about slipping into my mind. Running back to my room, I hear my sister moving around. I grab my phone and slip into her room. She’s sitting on her bed, her eyes red and puffy. I make a face at her as if asking whats wrong while sitting beside her. “I…I…” she stutters and starts to cry. I rub her back while she sobs. I never ever help my sister like this and its weird. Im not used to comforting people.
After about ten minutes of constant crying and ‘Shhh’’s, Annabel finally calms down. “Cris…” She starts, “I…I heard Cris… I heard him hit you… and r...r…” She starts sobbing again, as my face pales and my expression goes blank. My sister couldn’t know, she’d want me to get help. She’d start checking for cuts again, just like when I was suicidal. I couldn’t let that happen. I get up and run to my room. I couldn’t be in there with my sister. "Cris! Wait!" I hear her say but I kept running away from her.
Sitting on the floor of my closet, I remember that I never texted Britney back. “Sure” I say. Approximately twenty minutes later, I hear someone walking outside. I look out to see Britney walking up my driveway. Before she’s able to knock on the door and wake dad, I run down and open the door, letting her in. I hope my finger up to my lips so she stays quiet, and then beckon her to follow me up the steps. We make it to my room without waking anyone. I hear a door crack open and tense up, but am relieved when I hear a faint ‘Goodnight Cris…” from Anna. I nod in her direction and usher Britney into my tiny room.
We walk in and I start to look down and twittle my thumbs together. My house is shitty compared to hers, though she didn't seem to mind it. “When my mom passed away, we had to move into a smaller house because my dad couldn’t pay the bills." I write on my phone and show it to her. She sits on my bed and smiles at me. “It’s alright, come sit with me? It’s quite lonely over here all my myself” I hesitate but do as she asks. Only then do I realize I never fully washed and I still have on only a t-shirt and panties. I go to get up to change while gestering to my clothes but she grabs my wrist and pulls me back down to the bed. She makes me lay down and lays beside me, cuddling up to my side. “It's alright. I don't mind. I sleep the same way. Uhm...Can I sleep here tonight? Please? And do you mind if I take my pants off? Im not that comforatable in skinny jeans,” She asks. I nod my head and smile. She does too and lays down on her side of the bed.
We talk for a little while, about little things. I ask her why she didn’t want to be home on a Friday night like tonight. Nothing was happening and it was the perfect time for family time since she told me she just moved here. All she would tell me though was that her and her mom got into an argument. I didn’t want to press it and upset her once again. After a while I didn’t feel like typing on my phone or writing anymore, so we decided we were going to sleep. It was well after two AM so neither of us had a problem with it. We cuddled up together without realizing it and fell asleep in each others arms.