Relearning How to Love (on hold)

Chapter 10

1 month later

I felt myself running with all my might, the trees a seemingly blurry picture of greens and browns. My breath came out in short huffs and I saw my breath turn to vapor as it hit the frigid Fall air. My adrenaline pumped through my body as I chased the delicious smell of the deer that I could smell ahead of me.

I had a strange yet rapidly bcoming familiar, feeling. It was like I was not totally in control of my actions.

I was getting closer and closer to the deer, I could practically feel its warm blood running down my throat, the meat from its body that would ease my hunger and return the strength to my body.

My stomach clenched in anticipation at the food that would soon fill it.

Then, my knees buckled underneath me and I dropped to the ground. My large body skidded across the ground and finally to a stop. 

I let out a little cry as zings of pain ran across my coat.

I rolled over and put one paw out to push myself up. I dug my back paws into the ground and readied my muscles.

Gathering my breath, I pushed myself up. My muscles strained, trying with all their might to obey my command.

But my body was exhausted. I fell to the ground.

I was too weak.

I might as well just wait here to die.

I sure as hell didn’t deserve to live.

As i left my pack, I thought I'd understood that concept. That I could just die like I deserved.

But my body wouldn’t accept it. Somewhere deep, deep down, something wanted to live. And I couldn’t stop it.

For the past month I had been doing anything in my power to just let myself go. To finally accept death, but I couldn’t.

It was like something inside me knew I shouldn’t die yet. Whenever I was getting too weak, too hungry and tired, I was overtaken by this strange part of me. It urged me to hunt, eat and grow strong.

Was it my wolf?

No, it couldn’t be, she had made it very clear before she disappeared into my head that she would not tolerate living anymore. She was the one that made me fast in the first place. Then maybe like a week ago, the strangeness came and I couldn’t contact her.

The part of me that did it though, made me eat, sure felt like her.

Now I was all alone, standing a foodless vigil to my dead mate.

My wolf had forsaken me, my pack had exiled me.

I wanted to die.

I couldn’t, but maybe now I can.

I could feel the weakness that was held in my body. The strange power may have made me feed, but not enough. I was too far gone.

As if sensing it, I could feel the beginnings of the take-over. My legs grew numb and unfeeling, my whole body soon followed suit.

I was losing control. I felt myself being put in the back-set, just as my wolf would do.

This time, though, I let it.

I did not fight for my mind. There was nothing it could do.

I felt my body strain to get up, to do something, so I would not die.

I, on the other hand, waited.

Black rimmed the edges of my vision, and my breathing started to race.

I choked as it felt like my lungs were caving in on themselves. I gasped and gagged and chest pulsed with pain.

Was this what happened when you died? I prayed for it to be over.

Stop, stop, stop.

But some little voice in my head told me I deserved it.

My mind flashed back to Emma.

With a trembling sigh, I leaned my head back and welcomed the pain. Let it consume me.

That was when the world seemed to explode.

My chest burned as my chest throbbed. My wolf doubled over as I felt searing pain in my neck that made me feel as if I was being branded by a white-hot iron.

I howled in agony, trying to release the pain that held my body in an iron grip.

As quickly as it started, it left.

I gasped on the ground, my body trembled from exhaustion.

What had happened?

I blinked, trying to rid the blurriness from eyes and then a sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I felt light, like my spirit was finally free.

My chest, the familiar ache that I carried in my heart…..

Was gone.

I was renewed.

I jumped to my paws, and my body hummed in excitement.

He must be here.

He has to be here! I screamed to my wolf.

I felt joy through our bond and I howled in happiness.

Then I fell to the ground.

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, I sang in my head. Not even bothering to try and get up.

I rolled onto my stomach, trying to peer through the forest.

I felt my vision start to fade.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Not now.

With a howl, I called for Kyle.

Save me!

Not now, I screamed to my body.

Let me see him. My mate!

I stared helplessly at the trees, my eyes searching for my mate.

I have to see him.

Just one last time, I must see him.

Then I saw a figure.

He stood in the trees.

My wolf let out a little howl in happiness.

Kyle!

As I was pulled under into the arms of unconciousness, I noticed one last thing:

The figure had blonde hair.

Kyle had brown.

Important Author's Note

(I know its wierd. Usually I use the author's note to ramble about unimportant stuff and I know you all probably don't even read it, but this time it is kind of important.)

Ok guys, heres the dealio. I need some feedback. Do you like the story? Hate it? Think I should change something? 

Please tell me.

Ok.....

I will update this story when I have 5 comments.

Not to hard right?

Don't hurt me.

I also wanted you all to know I'm sorry it has been taking me forever to update. 

I try.

It shoud be different this week because it is break.

YEAH!!!!     :)