Beautiful Insecurities

Kimoni Michaal

I was vibing to some TLC while finishing up my chemistry homework. Turning the music up louder I bobbed my head up and down.

“I don't want no scrub, a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me!" I sung obnoxiously while smacking on sliced watermelon

"Hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, tryna holla at meee!" I stuck another piece of watermelon in my mouth

I picked up my pen, and continued to take notes. AP Lit was a really fun class, because English will forever be my favorite subject.

If I don't make it home tonight..

Tell my Mama that I love her , leave

some flowers for my brother.. girl

I love ya, girl I love ya!

I placed my pen down, and looked at my phone. I almost didn't wanna pick it up, because August Alsina's voice was so adorable.

“Hello?" I sighed

"What ya doing?" my cousin Wynter asked

“I been draanking watuhmelon." I laughed

“Ki! You coming tonight?"  Wynter said through the phone

“No Wyn, I told you I'm not going to that stupid ass dance."

“But whyyy? I have this cute dress here for you."

“Because I don't want to. I have homework Wyn, what do you want?"

“It's seven o'clock on a Friday, and you're home doing homework? I can see you now Ki, you're probably munching on some fruit and singing terribly."

“I'm not going to a dance, where nobody knows me! I probably wouldn't even look good in the dress. You go have fun, okay? That's not my scene." I sighed

“Kimoni! You're beautiful, and you'd look sexy as hell in this dress. I'll send you a pic." she said

“Bye Wynter." I hung up the phone and placed it next to me

I felt bad for shooting down my cousin.. we're practically best friends, I could hear the enthusiasm in her voice. Believe it or not, I liked sitting home and being comfy in my bed and doing homework.

Wyn was always telling me how I was beautiful, and lucky to be mixed but I didn't give two fucks. When I look in the mirror, I don't see the girl the Wynter sees.. the "beautiful girl with sexy long hair and almond shaped eyed with full pouty lips".

Instead, I see an undeveloped girl with a huge forehead, chinky eyes, baboon lips, and kinky hair. In all honesty, I didn't feel pretty.. not one bit.

I got up and walked to my bathroom, that was connected to my room. I grabbed a comb, and attempted to tame my frizzy hair. The comb started off smooth sailing, and then it got caught in my tangled hair. I struggled with the comb, until I yanked it out and the comb broke.

“I blame Wynter for putting these thoughts in my head!" I mumbled frustrated, while throwing the comb

I secured my hair with a rubber band, and looked at my face in the mirror. I noticed my oily skin, and how I had small outbreaks of acne here and there.

“Why can't I be pretty?" I let a tear fall and left the bathroom

I couldn't stand looking at myself for any longer. No matter how hard I tried to look attractive, there was always someone who shot me down. It never fails.