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Funny Random Sayings

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Funny random sayings

1. My best friend is better than yours! So put that in your juice box and suck it!

2. I am the future of America... be afraid... be VERY afraid

3. Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip

4. Come to the dark side; we have cookies

5. I'm not so good at advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

6. I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous. ; )

7. Duct Tape is like the force. There's a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.

8. I poured spot remover on my dog... now he's gone.

9. If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?

10. My computer may have beat me in chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing.

Funny Stuff

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Friend's will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists

I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD.

I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me. "Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from

strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go.

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You

guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

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