This is the second chapter to Achieving Your Goals, and like the others i would really appreciate it if you could show your support by voting and commening with your thoughts and opinions on this chapter.
I know that my main character is Ashleighn and the main focus is on football, but with this chapter I want to show you more of her friend Rachel. So please could tell more what you think and if there is anything that you think I have missed out and that you would like me to include.
This chapter i ahve also tried to right in the present tense, so could you tell me what you think and if you'd rather i right in the past tense only please.
If you could think of any improvements that would also be great.
Many thanks, Blue-Eclipse
It’s the first day back to school since the summer holidays. There had only been six weeks, but to Ashleighn, it feels longer. She dislikes the long breaks from school, she would much rather have shorter weeks off but more of them in the school year.
She has spent a lot of her summer playing football, either with her brother Jamie, or entering in competitions with her team. Over all it was five they had entered in, they had won two, came second in two and third in one.
Ashleighn plays centre forward, usually alongside Abigail who plays on the left. It has been her favourite position since she was little. They play in the colour red, with the numbers printed on the back in black. Ashleighn’s number is ten, it is her lucky number and Lionel Messi, her favourite player in the world also wears that number.
In some ways it’s been him who has inspired her to work hard at it, making her want to get better. She wants to be able to play at that level of perfection, so she will always push herself that one step further, hoping that one day someone will notice her.
The remaining days in the summer when she wasn’t out playing football, she spent with Rachel. Most of the time they had ended up just relaxing at the pool, or shopping in the city, Ashleighn wasn’t a huge fan of shopping, but Rachel always found some way to make it enjoyable. One weekend they had gone camping. The weather before had said it would be warm with sun, but they ended up spending most of it getting wet by the rain.
The first day back to school is continuously the worst, for it’s the day when you got your new timetables, new classmates, and have to spend the first two hours stuck in form listening to the teacher going on about the new school rules.
Ashleighn leaves her hair down, allowing it to fall past her shoulders. She doesn’t wear any make-up only lip gloss. Her white blouse is tucked into her skirt which is just above the knee, she wears her black V-neck jumper over her blouse, and the blazer over that.
Rachel knocks on the door, as Ashleighn grabs her bag.
“Ready?” Rachel speaks whilst fiddling with her hair.
Rachel has blonde wavy hair, just below the shoulders slightly shorter than Ashleighn’s. Her eyes are a grey misty colour, and lip a pale pink. She isn’t overly tall, but she is taller than Ashleighn.
Un-like Ashleighn, Rachel wears make-up. She never goes anywhere without it. Rachel’s not the type to wear loads, just a little bit of: mascara, eye shadow, eyeliner, lip gloss, and a light foundation.
The school is bustling with life, new students and old. The older students look relaxed and just stood around talking about what they did over the summer. New students however, stand in big groups of friends all looking nervous. But who can blame them, it exists as a new school to them which is much bigger than the schools they have come from, plus they are with students who are much older than them.
Ashleighn and Rachel walk through the school gates and into the building on the right, heading straight to the locker room. Their lockers are next to each other’s, and also besides their form room where they’re to go once the bell rings.
Like she always does, Ashleighn feels nervous. She’s nervous that people will talk about her or are talking about her behind her back, or that she’ll do something wrong and mess up, making a complete fool out of herself.
|Troian Avery Bellisario||as AShleighn|
|Kaley Cuoco||as Rachel|
|Michael Trevino||as Cain|