Ice [ book 1 of the nine sisters ] will be rewritten.

Chapter 12: The Engagement Party (Part 2: Evening)

       I have absolutely no idea how I endured the remaining hours of waiting in my room.I am the type of person that does not like being shut up in a certain place with no books, drawing tools, pen and paper, or basically saying, without anything to do.

       Mother and Father made sure that activities have a certain place to be done in. They have done so in order to train us to know where particular things can be done or performed.

       I am aware they mean well, but it could get very boring in my bedroom. So I was forced to find something that could entertain me or keep my hands busy. I decided to ring the bell to call a few servants.

       They entered promptly after that. I asked them as kindly as I could if they could please bring my King Charles Cocker Spaniel to my room. I haven’t played with my pet dog in a while because of me being busier than ever before. I simply miss her.

       The servants brought in my dog. I told them that they could leave.

       “Hello, Alexandra. I am terrible sorry I haven’t played with you in a while.” I cooed to my spaniel. She jumped on my lap and stuck her tongue out.

       She is so adorable! Her ears are like two brown ponytails of hair. Especially since over each ear is a light blue ribbon. Her coat is a mix of brown spots and white base. Her eyes are a dark brown. Their depths are very steep, pulling you in almost fatally. 

       I played with her and pet her. Her soft fur reassures me. I could feel my heart rising to my throat or dropping to my stomach with every breath. 

       I also like to pour my problems out to her because I am sure no one else will know of what is troubling me, especially if I would rather not talk about it.

        “Oh, Alexandra, I am getting married soon.” I told her, mixed feelings heard in my voice.

       “Tonight I will attend my engagement party. I will dance with my groom-to-be. Truth be told, I think I-I---“ I cut off. The word I am looking for can’t roll off my tongue. I gulped and started again.

       “I love him.” That very word seemed so awkward as it came out. I never said so about a prince that my family wanted me to marry. With my conversation with father earlier, I did not say I loved him. I only nodded my head when he asked if I now love him. Technically saying, I did not let those words come out of my mouth.

       “I love him.” I repeated. My voice sounded rather sad and confused. I started to cry. I buried my face in the softness of a pillow and I felt Alexandra lick my hand. I turned to face her and scratched her behind her ears.

       “Should I tell him tonight?” I hesitated for a moment. “Should I even fall into the depths of his eyes and just relish the moment of me being in his arms?” I could barely go further. I choked back unexplainable tears. “Should I even dare love him even more?” I said in barely a whisper.

       Of course she did not answer. She is a dog, a creature below us. Don’t get me wrong, I still love her.

       I guessed I have to find out the answers before or during the event later.

Right now, my corset is being laced up. The corset decreased the feeling of my stomach lurching because of nervousness. I don’t mind that I could barely let out a breath, as long as this wretched thing is preventing me from breaking down and letting my emotions out. I suppose the tightness of it stops me from doing something completely stupid.

       The gown is now slipped over my head. The stays are fastened and tightened. I looked down at the luxurious dress. It was like a dream. I couldn’t believe I am this close to my marriage. I smiled secretly to myself. But suddenly I recalled how much my chest hurt when I remembered who I was to wed.