We Were Never Making Any Sense

Chapter 5

I Want Answers

I assume that almost everyone looks at the sky and thinks something along the lines of,

"Wow, it's so big, blue and beautiful.. almost cloudless, what perfect weather." Not so?

I mean no one looks up at the sky and thinks of a storm as 'perfect weather', right? I'm pretty sure when people think of a storm, the first thing that actually comes to their minds are probably things like floods, hurricanes, tornado's or mudslides. Well, to make it simpler, one word, disastrous.

At least, that's what I thought as soon as I had heard Maria saying "Sky and Storm," for the first time.

It played on my mind for a while after, just like everything else had today. How he stared at me, why he stared at me, what he was thinking..

But "Sky and Storm" played on my mind the most. What really got to me was how it didn't make any sense, or it wouldn't.

But somehow though, I wanted it to, it felt to me like that was what I gravitated towards or something. Whatever it was, I liked it. I liked the sound of it, the mystery behind it, behind you and us.

But my subconscious kept warning me to stay away from things that don't make sense. Because, if they were meant to make sense to you, they would. And this didn't.

I was so confused.

I seriously need get out of this habit where I worry about the things I actually have a say and choice in, things that I can end, change or control, if I wanted to.

Why am I even reminding myself of this?? I know this..

Sure you do. But you need to convince yourself of that.

Right. Myself. I know this. I got this. No worries. No worries. No worries. Wait, what was I worrying about again??

Nevermind.

I remember how the elderly folk would always warn us not to go messing around with destiny, how the universe always gets what it wants and how kismet will always happen. Everything has to happen and will happen for a reason. That's what destiny is. Fate. Chance.

You can't hide from your destiny. It's already written out for you. It's inevitable.

But, in my head though, or my heart, or both, whatever, but somehow I knew, we were inevitable and I acted on that.

I texted him accusingly,

"You do know it's impolite to stare, right? And I'm pretty sure you look away when you get caught staring, so what's your deal anyway?!"

After pressing send, I realised that my message had probably come out more rough and angrier than it had sounded in my head but I felt my own frustration and I wanted answers.

So what if it sounded meaner, I am mean, what do I care?? Oh, that's right, I don't.

Just as I was about to storm out of my own room, my phone buzzed on the bed. Irritated, I turned back and threw myself onto the bed. For a second I just thought about nothing. Everything. For just a second my head was clear. Then I realised it could be Storm who had responded to my message.

Suddenly, my head felt as though it were inundated with all these possible responses. All the things he could have said, how he could have reacted.

"Hey, there was something on your face." No apology? Really?

"I was staring at your friend. Pass my number to her too?"

No, wait, he already admitted to staring at me.