The Stripper Equation

What's The Problem

            I was awakened by my phone ringing.  I stumbled in the bright morning light to find my t-shirt.  I slid it on and made my way to my bag feeling for my phone.  I flipped it open and answered.

            “Where the hell are you?”  Daphne shrilled.

            “I stayed at Noah’s last night.  What’s up?”  I knew what was up but I wanted to let her be the one to tell me.

“Well.  I wanted to do something dramatic but I had to tell you right away.  I could always do a dramatic reveal to everyone else.  I cannot wait to see everyone’s face.”  If I hadn’t already known what she was going to say Daphne’s regular rambling would’ve killed me.  “This is going to be awesome, although there is so much to do.  I mean I thought I knew what I wanted but now that it’s real I have to scrap everything I thought about before…”

“Daph what are you talking about?  Tell me what?”  I wasn’t sure if she realized that she still hadn’t actually told me so I played along.

Daphne stopped incoherent chatter.  “I’m engaged!  Steve proposed last night.”  She screeched again.

“Oh my gosh Daphne.  That is amazing.  I am so happy for you.”  My excitement was genuine but hadn’t I already known I may have been screaming along with her.  Luckily in her elated state she hadn’t even noticed.

            “Forget everything I said about my wedding before.  I don’t want it anymore.  I want everything little girls dream of.”  I was happy that she ditched the stripper wedding she had thought up when she and Steve started dating.  “Well not everything.  I still want you to be my maid of honor.”

            I was touched.  She had always said it before but I wasn’t sure.  First off I never really thought she would ever settle down or even find a guy who would want to settle down.  But I was also apprehensive that when it came down to it she would pick one of her sisters.  “Really?  Me?”

            Daphne was surprised at my shock.  “Of course you.  You’re my best friend.  You are the most important person in my life.”

            It was touching.  “Of course Daphne I would be honored.  You know that when you are married to Steve, he will be the most important person in your life.”  I wasn’t jealous of it at all.  Steve was perfect for my best friend and she deserved it.

            “Oh please.  Husbands are amazing but you have been with me through the worst.”  Daphne reasoned.

            “Well you do know with Steve it is officially for better or for worse.”  I joked.  “It’s written in the vows.”

            “Yeah, yeah.  I know and he will be, but with him it only has gotten better.  And that won’t change, but Lennie you and me have something he can’t compete with.  You’ve seen me through the worst and I know Steve will never have to go through something like that with me.  Not because he wouldn’t but because I am never going to be that person again.  I am better than that.  Steve made me realize this.  He doesn’t just make me a better person he makes me the person I have always been meant to be.  Even though he accepted the person I was.”  She made a gagging sound.  “Blech.  I sound cheesy don’t I?”

            “No Daph you sound happy and you deserve every bit of it.”  I always knew that we were best friends but it still made me feel great to know not just how much she valued me but that she felt that I was there for her when she needed me most like she had always been to me.  “Well let’s just split the difference and say that he and I are equally important.  Until you have kids that is.  Then they will trump us both.”