The Story That Chose Me

Chapter 1 ~ Into the Dream

“Nah, she’s not feeling so well. I think she might just need this morning to sleep in.”

“Oh.” He looked down, his face suddenly becoming clouded. A pang of annoyance hit me, but I shrugged it off. It bothered me when he assumed he would miss her company more than anyone else. He complained much more than the others, which made it seem like he thought she was more important to him than she was to me. I try to forgive his ignorance, but I must admit that, no matter how stupid it seemed, sometimes I let it bother me.

The thing is, when Amber isn’t here for me, it’s so much lonelier. I haven’t had a lot of really good friends in my life, and she had to be one of the best. She understood me better than anyone else here could, so it made it an extra difficult day. To be honest, she also helped me control my tendency to alienate myself from those around me, so on days like this, it took me ever ounce of strength to joke around like I normally would.

Thankfully, the bell rang, saving me from any obligation to talk to people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a complete social person, I love people. It’s just that I get so bored of having the same conversations over and over again. If a particular social group begins getting dull for me, I’d normally just go hang out with someone else who could offer me some excitement, but the school was small, and people were limited. If I have no one to entertain me, I’ll just sit and occupy myself, but that usually is made up of more antisocial activities, and I’m working hard not to completely isolate myself.

Class started with the same people, who sat in the same chairs, as every other school morning previous to this. The only thing different about today was the fact that Amber and Blain weren’t here, making us a class of six instead of eight. Part of that made me feel a little more positive about the day. I found my patients for Blain lacking, and without Amber here, it would be even harder to keep my blunt comments in check.

We had planning today, which meant that I had to sit through another class of people trying to get me to think seriously about my life. Important as it was, the people here viewed the world far too intensely for me. There was never any talk of dreams or the like, but instead they focused on practical and sensible advice, which I suppose works for some people, but I like to leave room for imagination. I think by the time we got to answering questions, such as if we were going to be able to pay our electric bill in five years, I tended to start zoning things out.

To be honest, the whole thing scared me, threatening how I lived my life. I didn’t want to have to think about paying bills or providing for my family yet, I wanted to take each moment as it came. I know planning for graduation, college, and life beyond school was super important, but I think we should also be concerned with where we are right now.

Instead of focusing on whether we’re going to be living in a mansion or your mom’s basement, why can’t we talk about how to turn our dreams into reality? That’s what planning was supposed to be about. Planning for your future, figuring out what you want, and what you will need to get it. That’s at least how I would teach this class if I was in charge of it.

“Oh, Blain’s here.” Addy, who was sitting next to me, interrupted my concentration. I don’t know why she always wanted to sit with me, and it could be slightly distracting when she kept talking.

I sighed silently when I saw Blain enter the room. Out of everyone at this school, I probably got along with him the worst. I don’t really know what it was about him that bothered me so much, but somehow he always managed to get on my nerves. I believed I also got on his the same way.

If I thought rather hard about things, like I generally do, I would have found that there was no reason for me to dislike him more than anyone else. I think it was the fact that I had a slight desire to impress him, but believed I never could. Somehow he managed the be everything I wanted to be and everything I hated in the world all at the same time, and my feelings towards him generally confused me. He was the one person at this school I hadn’t figured out yet, the one person who wasn’t enchanted by me like everyone else was. I think I hated him for it. Him, who was the only person I strangely wanted to impress.