Lost Without You

I comb out my tangled hair and brush it to the side how I wear it everyday. It makes it look like I have more hair than I actually do and it helps me put walls in between me and the people I don't want to see. Like for example, China Anderson. The biggest bitch I know. She's always trying to make me look bad. Please, I can do that all by myself. But everyone knows she's just jealous because David and Connor don't want her and everyone knows she wants them. Only because they belong to me.

After my shower and brushing my teeth, I look for something to wear in my tiny dresser in the front of my room. I don't have too many clothes. I go shopping for stuff now and then but it's not like I go to the mall every weekend just to have money to blow. I'm lucky enough to have to money I have now from working in the library across the street from my house. Lucky for me, Connor and David hang out there every afternoon to be with me. Special.

I finally end up choosing on a ripped black top and skinny jeans. Something simple. The sun is out which means I'm going to get hot faster than usual. I'll be eating my lunch inside or under the shade today.

"Thalia! Mani! Breakfast!" my parents call from the kitchen. Great. That's one thing I hate about my parents. Their the modern normal family type that call their kids down for breakfast. I hate them. They judge me in everything I do and whatever I do is not good enough for them. They hate the fact that I'm so "dark" as they like to call it. They say the only color I have in me is the color of my hair that I got from my down. That sounds encouraging doesn't it? Bitches.

I go down the stairs anyways. I either go down or they're coming up. And Lord knows how ugly I would act if they came up. My bag is slung over my shoulder as I run down the stairs. It smells like waffles and bacon. They know I'm a vegetarian.

"Bacon?" I ask. They don't even look at me. They just keep doing what they're doing and ignore me.

"Thalia, you are not a vegetarian. Get that crazy idea out of your head, now. You like meat and you always have ever since you were little," my mother says, putting plates on the table. That one comment just pissed me off. Just threw me over my own edge.

"Since when do you tell me what I am and what I'm not?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

My dad looks at me and then looks at my mother. Then, he gets up from the table and goes up stairs to his bedroom and shuts the door. He knows we're about to argue and when we argue, things end up beimg broken. A few seconds later I hear Mani's door click shut, too.

"I'm your mother and what I say is what goes," she says. She's still not looking me directly in the eyes.

I drop my bag on the floor. "You're my mother? Cause I thought you were a bitch that thinks she can control me," I mumble at her.

"I'm a bitch? Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" she asks. She puts her plates down and looks at me. Dead in the face. Her eyes are narrowed just like mine are. She's ready for the fight just like I am.

"The bitch who thinks she knows every thing about me," I say.

She doesn't say anything after that. She just keeps setting plates down when there are enough plates on the table already.

"I'm not fighting with you this morning. Not the time or place," she mumbles at me.

I decide to challenge her. I need a fight this morning. I need to take my new anger out on someone and she's the perfect person to remember all the shit that's happened to me on.

"You afraid of getting your ass kicked?" I ask.

She looks up at me. Dead in the face again and it's like she's piercing my heart with her eyes.

"No I'm afraid of accidentally murdering you," she says in the same tone as my voice.

That last comment kind of burned my heart. She'd kill me. I wish she would so I wouldn't have to do it myself and it be suicide.

I just picked up my bag and kept walking until I was close enough to the door to escape.

"Bye dad! Bye Mani!" I yelled into the house and then I walked outside into the fresh air. Not bothering to say goodbye to my mom.