Just a term

Every time someone stared at me they sent a dagger through my heart.

You cannot miss what you  don't have. The tuth is this you can if everyone  around you  does.

 Those who were discreet with their glances, the poltically correct, the direct  and the little ones who knew no better. 

They were best because they could be moulded because those who do not live with it but try  understand are made not born

Sometimes even their best efforts failed.

II went a specailist who gave me a chair, who acted concerned but you could tell she didn't care.

I went to a doctor who told I was the same, another told me I was worse.

Anything that helped lasted for a little while but came back just as bad as if it never went away at all

So for the love of the people who tried to understand I immersed myself in everything else. I laughed I smiled, I joked. I begn to function.  I crid all the while my heart became covered in thousands of  scars . When one healed another opened and I began to bleed to death.

I  read an article. I came to a  junction a cross roads iin my life. I begged, pleaded with urgency. Then I left the damp and the cold and went to see a man about a ground breaking new surgery. He asked me to make a wish list. Didn't tell me what I couldn't have.  but granted my desires and told me whot I could be. 

I spent three weeks surrounded  people who could help me be who I needed to be. I was taken seriously.I forgot my fear  and the past.  At last  when it was time to go I felt nearly as sad as when I came. But I left with just three already fading scars.

I realized what I had been misisng and started liife again. It took awhile but I learned to smile and did things I had never done before.  

I have one person to thank and that is the man who turned cerebral palsy spasticity into just a term not a burden.