Every time someone stared at me they sent a dagger through my heart.
They say you cannot miss what you don't have. The truth is this you can if everyone around you does.
Those who were discreet with their glances, the politically correct, the direct and the little ones who knew no better.
They were best because they could be moulded because those who do not live with it but try understand are made not born
Sometimes even their best efforts failed.
I went to see a specialist who gave me a chair, who acted concerned but you could tell she didn't care.
I went to a doctor who told I was the same, another told me I was worse.
Anything that helped lasted for a little while but came back just as bad as if it never went away at all
So for the love of the people who tried to understand I immersed myself in everything else
. I laughed I smiled, I joked. I began to function.
Crying all the while,
My heart covered in thousands of scars .
When one healed another opened
I began to bleed to death.
I read an article. I came to a junction a cross roads in my life.
I begged, pleaded with urgency.
Then I left the damp and the cold and went to see a man about a ground breaking new surgery.
He asked me to make a wish list.
Didn't tell me what I couldn't have. but granted my desires and told me what I could be.
I spent three weeks surrounded by people who could help me be who I needed to be.
I was taken seriously. I forgot my fear and the past.
At last when it was time to go I felt nearly as sad as when I came.,
but I left with just three already fading scars.
I realized what I had been missing and started life again.
It took a while but I learned to smile and did things I had never done before.
I have one person to thank and that is the man who turned cerebral palsy spasticity into just a term, not a burden.