Georgia Rose (One Direction)

Chapter 55

Come On get Higher- Matt Nathanson

"You almost done?" My body jumped in surprise as Harry's voice travelled through the previously vacant room. I turned my head and saw his body leaning on the white doorframe.

"Y-Yeah. I was just looking at my old journal." I stuttered, suddenly pricking nervousness. I sharply put down the pen I was using to write with.

"Really?" I quickly closed the book as Harry came closer, not wanting him to read the words spread across the pages. "Holy, that thing's seen it's better days." He chuckled as he observed the tattered brown leather of the book's surface.

"Yeah." I said, simply. It's seen its better days because of the endless times I've thrown it around, getting frustrated after writing angry notes to my mum about the many times I haven't had the courage to stop the actions I met myself with. I haven't written in this thing recently, it's been about two years or so. I found it on the shelf as I was packing up my room.

"What's it say, right there?" Harry asked, pointing to the writing scribbled over the coarse leather of the cover.

"Just some stupid words it nothing." I slapped my hand over the scribbled nonsense, suddenly feeling a burst of emotion overpower me.

"It's not nothing," Harry pushed. "Look, I didn't mean to upset you, just curious, that's all." He noticed my discomfort.

"He didn't deserve her heart, let us live." I said, sniffling.

"What?"

"That's what it says, that's whats on the cover." I said blandly.

"What's that mean?"

"I don't remember," I lied.

"It's about your mum, isn't it?" Harry inferred.

"Why does it matter?" My voice held a sudden edge. My guard is up when it comes to this book, it's something not even Harry would be aloud to read.

"I just don't want it to bother you,"

He didn't deserve her heart, let us live.

I wrote this on page after page of each and every paper I had ever received. It was unfair how my beautiful mother had to go so early in her life. This quote represents the heavens taking my mum before she had a chance to seek her dreams. He-being whoever took her away from me- didn't deserve to take the beating of her heart from already fragile body. He didn't deserve to steal that last breath from her lungs that already struggled to keep pumping, lingering it in front of us like we were dogs playing fetch. He didn't have the right to take this beautiful woman away from us, tearing apart her family at the seams; making the tears and after effects seep through our souls like spilled water in the soil of a plant. He should've let us be together and he should've let us live our lives, free of the hardness that has been put under our feet to fall over.

But why am I always coming back to this? What's done is done, so why should I torment myself over it? Its not fair to the progress that I have made and continue to make every second i breath and live on this planet. Sure, my mother is gone, but I need to stop replaying past moments and move on with my life. I can't keep wrapping my mind around this, I need to let it go. Now.

"It won't bother me, because you know what?" I stood up, taking the book in my hold. Harry never answered me, he just watched my actions intently. I brought the journal over to my trash can, letting the leather slip from my small hands and hearing it smash against the small metal container.

"Its in the past." I said, proudly. It feels as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, having rid myself of yet another thing that could possibly haunt me in the future.