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Such Is Life A Book Of Poetry By Jessica Lynn Hepner

Dedicated to


“I Don’t Know”

I just do not know,
What else to do,
Nothing I ever say,
Ever gets through to you.
You only hear,
What you want to hear.
And you only get very cold,
Whenever, I come near.

Maybe too much between us has changed,
And maybe for us, it is too late.
But, how am I ever supposed to know,
If I don’t ever test our fate?
One minute I Love You,
But, in the next I hate you,
Because at times you’re absolutely perfect,
And then at others, you piss me off, with all the stupid shit, you pull.

My Soul, is aching,
For another place and another time.
Maybe even for another path to chose.
Maybe for that Peace, I never can seem to find

“I Fucking Knew Better”

I Fucking Knew Better,
But, I let down my guard, any way.
And I actually believed everything,
That to me, you did have to say.
But, what you said,
And what you have now done,
Are two very different things,
…And any part in this, - I Want None.

I guess you really are no different,
From any other man, before.
You said what you thought that I wanted to hear,
Nothing less, and of course, nothing more.
I did my best,
And damn it, I played my part.
But, this needs to end, right here and now,
Before anything else can even start.

I Fucking Knew Better,
But, still I let you in.
I Fucking Knew Better,
Than to trust any Man, Again.
I Fucking Knew Better,
And now I am through,
I Fucking Knew Better, and I’m not taking any more,
Not from any man, and especially not, from you.


I want to go Home now,

Back over on the other side.

Where I wont have to hurt anymore,

And from Life, I wont have to hide.

I want to go,

Where I can finally find some Peace.

And where my weary Heart can get some rest,

And my Soul, will finally be, free.

It saddens me that I must leave behind,

All of which ever really matters to me.

But, I know we will all meet again some day,

So at the least that is one less thing, I fear.


It has been four months now,
The time has come and quickly passed us by,
Since you, My Dear Sweet Alexandria,
Has come into my Life.

In the beginning,
I was scared as hell.
Uncertain and insecure with my own ability,
But, I really don’t think, that you could tell.

But, as time has gone on,
Things have gotten a little easier on us.
We’ve gotten to know one another better,
And started to form an unbreakable trust.

I know I am not a perfect Mom,
That’s something I never claimed to be.
Just keep in mind I am doing the very best that I can,
Since CPS, has broken me.

I Love You, My Dear Sweet Alexandria,
More than you will probably ever know.
And I Promise to do what ever it takes,
To keep you right here with me, at Home.


A little bit of validation,

I guess that is too much to ask.

There is nothing right anymore between us,

There is no way in hell this can last.

You don't seem to care

That I feel this way.

I make you treat me like this,

Is what you always like to say.

That is the lowest form of a cop out,

You could possible give.

You don't think that what you do,

Has anything to do with whether I live or don't live.

You make me feel unworthy,

You treat me like I don't even exist.

And God forbid I get upset about it and say something,

Cause that's when you really get pissed.

I'm sick of being the last one you consider,

I am sick of being the one you want if no one else is around.

I am sick of feeling like this and living like this,

I am sick of any peace not ever being found.

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