Chapter fifteen.

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One week went by. Then two, then three. Before I knew it, summer was over, and I haddn't seen the light of day.  School would be starting soon, something I wasn't looking forward to. Then again, I would take my mind off of things. It had been just over a month since the incident, and so far I'd been fretting over it, wondering when Andy would turn up on my doorstep like nothing had happened, but he never did.  He never tried to see me again, never tried to say sorry, never even got intouch. I should be happy about that, should'nt I have been? But i wasn't. Even the idea of him then gave me headaches.

So here i was, like every other day, locked inside of my room, sitting on the windowsill, looking outside nowhere in particular. Sit, look, eat, sleep. That's my routine. But soon i'm going to have to co-ordinate school into there too.

Several things pass though my brain on days like this. I question myself on if what happened really happened. I question my sanity. I question my life and all the things wrong with it. I question if it was all in my head, like some dream. I question why I'm locking myself up like this, secluded. I question Robyn, on if Ashley took good care of her. On if he took too much care with her. I question Andy's existence. Question if he really is what I think he is, or what he isn't. I question why he hasn't come looking for me. I question why he acted like that, when his body language made his actions perfectly known. I question why we we're even there in the first place.

So many questions unanswerd, but need to be. While this space of time goes on, I hardly sleep, hardly eat. Mainly just push the food around on my plate. Pretend to sleep while my mother checks on me, then reposition myself back on the windowsill. I know my mother's worried. She always tries to get me to interact with other people for once. But I don't. I stay silent untill the past walks out the door. 

I'm not myself anymore. I'm numb, or rather disconnected from my body. I don't even have enough care in my body to even go through the motions of life. I just sit, nibble on food, and pretend to sleep.

A week or so goes by, and it's the day before school. The usual commotion goes on in the house, the shopping, the washing of clothes, the rushing to get things ready. I hear everything from my room. I hear that there's gossip about a new student, though I have no idea how they acquired it. I here talk about new classes and new teachers. I hear there's a welcome back ceremony at the beginning of the day in the hall.

The moon comes out and I look out to the stars once more. I scan the horison. I scan the numorous houses and buildings in the town. A view that could kill, if i cared enough.

___

The next day came by too quickly. The next thing i knew, I was out the door and near the school. The path looked the same as always, gray and littered with rubbish from the citizens. It's funny how sow much is the same, when you, yourself, is so different. As always, Robyn was outside the gates, but today she had a different look on her face. 

Her voice was hushed as she said," What happened to you?"

"N-nothing. What do you mean?" My voice strained as it regained it's use.

"Shannan, you disappeared. I couldn't get a hold of you all summer, and when I went to your house, your mum said made up excuses like 'she's unwell.' 'She shouldn't see anyone.' What happened?"

My bored tone continued as I lied,"I was unwell."

"Dude, I wen't to your house yesterday and I got told you were worse than ever. You've completely changed. It's like you're not even you anymore Shazz."

Something inside of me clicked, and I raised my voice. "So what if i'm not? I haven't been for a long while now, and here you are all normal and hyper like your usual self. Why? Why am I like this, huh? Can you answer it? Because god forbid I can't." I took a breath, and looked at her. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.."

Robyn shook her head and silently folded her arms around me. My body tensed from the contact i hadn't had in months. But I welcomed it, falling in to her. Before I knew it, I was crying. My body shook in sobs, but I couldn't hold it back. 

A quiet noise came from Robyn's bag, and she let go of me to search out the thing that was making the noise. I snuffled my tears back in as she opened her phone, a small smile playing on her lips as she text back. "Who was it?" I asked shakily, still recovering from the sobs.

"It was Ash," She replied simply.

"Ash? Ash who?" I replied confused. She gave me a confused look back.

"Ashley Purdy, do you remember?"

My eyes widened in realisation. Ashley Purdy and Robyn, together. That means we really were at Ashley's house. Me, Robyn and...Andy. This means that he really did do this to me, he made me like this. All the stuff that happened outside his house, it happened. The jokes, the weird feelings, the near kiss. 

And just like that, I was in hysterical tears.

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