51 Things Rosalie Hale is Not Allowed to Do

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(hey guys! i finally decided to make a rosalie list! oh, and i am making a sixth emmett list, so enjoy :)

51 Things Rosalie Hale is Not Allowed to Do

 

Rosalie Hale is not allowed to:

 

1. Tell Emmett he's weak... 

2. And that Bella could break every bone in his body... 

3. And that she'll meet him in the parking lot at 3 O' clock... 

4. To kick his ass 

5. Walk around the house in lingerie... 

6. No matter how much Emmett begs 

7. Take a video camera to school... 

8. And hide it in the ceiling... 

9. During Bella's gym class 

10. Tell Bella that the real reason she doesn't like her is because she is so damn annoying... 

11. And that Edward thinks so, too 

12. Tell Bella Alice snuck into her room last night and changed her 

13. And when Edward said it hurt, he was just trying to get her to change her mind... 

14. And that if she fought Emmett, she would win 

15. Tell Bella that vampires ALWAYS hunt naked... 

16. And Edward is planning to change her tonight... 

17. So she may as well throw out all her clothes now 

18. Tell Bella she bought her a whole new wardrobe for Christmas... 

19.But she was caught helpless by an 80-year-old mugger... 

20. And she couldn't salvage anything 

21. Tell Bella that she's too ugly to be a vampire 

22. Proclaim to be a "golden-haired goddess" 

23. Vividly reenact her story in front of Bella 

24. Tell Mike that he'd have a chance with her if he shaved his head 

25. Tell Mike that Bella would really like to see him naked and that he should show up at the house at about midnight tonight 

26. Stand behind Alice's mirror and tell her she's too fat 

27. Ask, "How can Jasper and I be twins? He's just too ugly"... 

28. And dye her hair black, saying "It was just too difficult being related to him!" 

29. Buy a poodle and name it Jacob 

30. Tell the police that Jasper almost murdered Bella 

31. Tell everyone in Forks that Bella almost died because of a paper cut 

32. Take Esme's bras and tie them to the back of the Volvo 

33. Tell Bella she'll change her if she admits what a loser Edward is 

34. Call Renee and ask tell her that her "Congrats, Grandma," and hang up 

35. Tell Bella that Edward likes the Volvo more than her 

36. Tell the school nurse that Edward is madly in love with her... 

37. And wants to go on a date tonight 

38. Tell Alice pink isn't her color... 

39. And it looks much better on Bella 

40. Tell Bella she's a whore and she can't make up her mind 

41. Tell Emmett that Jasper has an obsession with peeps... 

42. And Jasper would love it if he put some in his favorite history book 

43. Kidnap Nick Jonas and give him to Bella for her birthday... 

44. And when she refuses, yell "Bella how could you! This was the nicest thing I've ever done for you!" 

45. Bedazzle all of Edward's jeans 

46. Take all of Alice's clothes... 

47. And blame it on Emmett 

48. Find home videos of Bella when she was younger, and play them at all the local movie theaters 

49. Call Carlisle "Gramps" 

50. Spread rumors that she and Jasper aren't adopted 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

"Yes, sweet revenge!" Emmett said, helping Bella tape the list to the wall. 

"Emmett, why would you want revenge on your own wife? Besides, isn't it time we make you another list?" 

Emmett folded his arms and sat in a corner. 

They heard someone walking down the stairs, and saw Rosalie in a wedding dress smiling. 

"Hey guys. I'm going to terrorize Forks!" she announced. 

"Have fun, babe," Emmett said. 

Bella took out the pen and added: 

51. Rosalie Hale is not allowed to run around in a wedding dress terrorizing the town

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