My Ruin

You wait for me to fall, eagerly and with glee,

Sharpening you tongue and knife waiting for your moment,

To be able to look down on me, to tell me that you were right and

I don’t matter, that I am a failure, that I don’t deserve what I am,

Or what I have.

You say I have stolen from you all that you deserve,

And for that I deserve you hate, your pain that you want to give me,

You say you will ruin me, take it all and leave me nothing.

Nothing I do is good enough for you, no though, no song, no gesture.

Never enough to sate your demands. I cry, you laugh and call me weak,

You mock my cries for mercy, kick me while I lie on the floor and bleed.

You are my ruin, my loathing, the one that pushes love away, keeping me imprisoned,

Hiding me from the light as you block it out. You tell me lies, you keep me alone,

For in that lies your power, you feed off my misery needing it to exist, you are all

That is bitter and twisted, you are right you are my ruin, my mirror, my self-loathing, me.

I will stop feeding you, you who whispers give up in my ear,  you who hate me so much, you who wishes me dead,

You have not beaten me, I will rise,

Rise up from my ruin, grab back all that you say I owe you, I will bury you beneath my ruin and build a new home, my eyes will shine again and I will not be alone, and that will be your ruin