Beautifully dangerous

CHAPTER 19

Chapter 19

At this very moment I wanted to be anywhere else right now.  Anywhere else but here in front of Jackie listing to the words that where coming from his mouth. I was now clinging to my bag. Holding it against  my chest with my arms wrapped around it like it was some sort life jacket and with out it I would drowned. 

" Breathe sweetheart. Take a breath for me Ellie." Jackie was telling me in a soft low voice. I did as he asked.  " Now I know this Is hard to hear but I need you to listen."  Still clinging to my bag I shook my head side to side. How could I listen to him nothing he had to say could make this better. It couldn't change the fact..........    I couldn't even make  my self repeat the words in my head. It made me feel sick at the thought.  " I cant deal with this." I whispered  to Jackie still shaking my head. The sound of heavy boots scuffing across the wooden floors was all I heard.  I looked up to see he was looking at me. Studying my face. You could see the concern on his face as he look into my eyes. He must of seen something. That's when I watched the fear flashed through his eyes.

" Motherfucker. You had no god damn right to tell her." Jas shouted. He had his fists in his hair like he didn't know what to do.

" You sure as fuck weren't going to tell her. That bitch is already running her mouth is that how you wanted Ellie to find out? Have that bitch blindside Ellie with this shit " Jackie shouted back slamming his beer on the table.  Jas took his hands out of his hair and scrubbed then over his has face. Taking the chair next to me he pulled it out and sat down with his back arched, shoulder down with his arms resting on his legs.  "Baby fuck I was going to tell you, but fuck it I needed time Ellie. I needed time to sort this shit out so it would affect you. Affect us."   I didn't answer him I didn't even look up at his beautiful face has he spoke. I stayed in the same position looking down at my bag that I clung to for dear life, thinking he was bat shit crazy to think a baby with another women wouldn't change everything!

"Ellie look at me baby" he whispered.

" Ellie look at me please " 

What did I need to look at him for. Would it make me feel any better seeing his beautiful face. Fuck no it wouldn't. so ignored him.

"Fucking look at me Ellie."  Jas shouted while grabbing my arms. Pulling us both to our feet. Jas let go of my left arm and used his now free hand to grab the bottom of my face to make me look at him.

" Darlin  you don't wanna talk fine. You wanna scream, shout fine. You wanna hit me fine. Baby I can take all that and more but what I cant  take is not seeing your eyes.  Need to see them eyes Ellie. Need them more now then ever. With all this fucked up shit that been going on the only thing that stops me losing my shit is that flash of love I see in them every time you see me." Jas let go of my other arm so he could hold my Face in his hands. Cupping my face he brought his face closer to mine, until our heads were touching. " Need to keep checking its there baby cant lose it. Wont let you go cant let you go" he said in a low almost pleading voice.

Placing my bag on the seat I took hold of his hands and pulled them away from my face and took a step back. As I took a steep back I watch as Jas's body went tight. Like he was a predator ready to pounce. He started to shake his head. " Not gonna happen baby so don't even fuckin think about it" Jas said in a warning tone.

I took my eyes off Jas and turned them to Jackie.  " Jackie your truck outside?"

"Yeah sweetheart it is but" I interrupted him. " Only need a yes or no answer." I said placing my hand in front of him.

" You give her keys so she can run motherfucker and I will end you . I will fucking end you."

I snapped my head to look at Jas but still held out my hand to Jackie to let him know I wanted his keys.