Problems with Wattpad

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Problems I have with Wattpad :

1) Nobody ever reads your work.

2) If they do read your work, they never finish it.

3) If, by some stroke of luck, they do finish it, they won't leave a comment.

4) Even if they do leave comments (they don't, though...so why do I bother?), they never vote.

5) I think the majority of us agree: there are always those who will protest vehemently that yes, people do read and vote. Cough. Cough. Hey, aren't you that person with a story in the top ten???

6) Yes, you are. What about all those other people who never get their stories read? You're just an exception to the rule

7) Ha. Just because it has a few views doesn't mean they actually read it. They looked at it for about five seconds, then exited and looked at the top ten again. Yes, AGAIN. Waiting with a fervent obsession for the next update.

8) DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HAVE LIVES? ....Methinks not. But no offense....

9) Yup- it's possible. Every freakin' story can be summed up in one sentence: "His angelic, ivory face lightened with a wry smirk." Yes. They're all smirking vampire/emo/werewolf dudes. No, seriously.

10) Tell me this isn't true. Please. I'd like to know- where on Wattpad can I find a story that doesn't have a smirking vampire/emo/werewolf dude? No. You may not advertise your own "story" with a comment. That doesn't count.

11) Who likes Owl City? I do...they're brilliant.

12) All the stories that aren't about smirking vampire/emo/werewolf dudes are about cute/witheringly perfect cheerleaders and ("hot") abusive boyfriends that are constantly making acidic remarks.

13) It's the sad truth- even in the top ten, there's an atrocious grammar error in every other sentence. DON'T YOU IMBELCILES HAVE SPELL CHECK AND GRAMMAR CHECK? You obviously have a typing program. You can obviously write. So freakin' edit it before the world reads it and thinks you're an idiot.

14) The words "hot", "pale" and "perfect" are used at least five times in each composition.

Prove me wrong and I'll read and comment. Yes- you heard right. All those nobodies that plague Wattpad will finally be noticed. IF you prove me wrong.

And yeah. That's blackmail. Suck it up.

:)

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 19, 2010 ⏰

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