When Love Gets Complicated [ A One Direction fanfiction <3 ]

Chapter 31 - The Death Of Maria.

Chapter 31 - The death of Maria 

 Maria was dead. She wasn't just missing. She was dead. She had killed herself. Just in a matter of seconds, our whole world was flipped upside down. The girl Louis loved was now dead and gone. 

I looked down at my hands. They were trembling from shock. I gulped and took a look at what the note said.  

 "My dearest Louis. I have made a big mistake. I should have never came back in the first place. I broke your heart once and now I've done it again. I loved you, with all my heart, but all it did was cause problems for the both of us. I thought that being with you again would be perfect. We could finally be together and love one another like we were meant to. But things stopped us from doing so. The entire issue of the baby was slowly drifting us apart. Whether it looked like it or not, it did. I hid my pain and anger with that one smile, trying to show that I was happy to soon become a mother. When I really wasn't. Every night, I spoke to my parents. They hated me for what I had done to my life. I hated myself for it too. No way was I ready to have my own child; I couldn't even take of myself. Let along a baby. But I had to learn that millions of other girls in the world go through the same thing as me. I knew you could Louis, you were always the responsible one, I was always the one to disappoint. Then again, I was also being selfish. Not only was I not ready, but I didn't want to take care of a kid when I could be out there living my teenage life. As horrid as it sounds, it was the truth. I wanted to go out to parties, I wanted to be with my friends again, I wanted to be able to go out in public again without having people judging me. My mother continued to pressure me towards getting an abortion. She loathed the idea of me being a mother already. I was way too young. So I did it. I didn't want the baby, my mother didn't. So I got rid of it. But the one thing I forgot to think about, was how much you wanted the baby. You loved the idea of being a dad, taking care of your own child. You were the complete opposite of me, yet I admired you greatly. I wish I could have been as strong and responsible as you Louis, but I couldn't. I remained selfish and did a deed that would haunt me for my entire life. I regretted everything I had done. I not only ruin my life, but I ruined yours. I knew I should have never killed the baby, it was your dream. You were so happy to become a father, yet I never realized until it was too late. I was never too excited about it, but I knew you were and I lied to you. I told you we had a miscarriage, which wasn't true at all. How could I tell you that I killed our own baby? I didn't have the guts. That day, Rachel made me realize what a big mistake I had made. I actually accused you both of being too overprotective. When really, all you two were doing was keeping me safe and I love you both for it. The day she kicked me out, I hated her for it. But that was when I walked out of that house keeping my head low in shame. Walking off alone in the night, realizing that all I did was wrong. How was this supposed to change my life and make it better? I upset you more than anything, I upset myself. Instead of making things better, I just made everything worse. I made you hate me. I made Rachel hate me. Please don't ever forget me; I hope you'll forgive one day. I know this can't be forgiven, but all I ask is for you to keep me as a memory. A good memory, if it's possible. I thought the best way to end all this, was to end my life. I hope I'm not hurting you more than you already are, please just forgive me. I love you Louis, and always will. Nobody will ever love you, as much as I've loved you. But I really do hope you find a girl who truly does deserve you. You deserve the best. Good luck in life, I'll miss you.- Love Maria. "  

I crumpled up the paper in my hands. A tear fell down the note, smudging the ink.

 I judged Maria without knowing the reality. Sure what she did was wrong, but everyone made mistakes and they all deserved to be forgiven. No one deserved to die. Maria really loved Louis. She was under so much pressure. Maria just wasn't ready, she wasn't to blame for what happened. I sat Louis down on my couch while I made him some coffee. Louis continued to shed tears, without stopping. I knew there was no point in comforting him. I wanted him to cry it out.