Scarlett (Sequel to What These Bruises Say)

Anguish Liam Payne and Zayn Malik

CHAPTER FUCKING 19 I GOT THIS ONE GUYS

-Zayn-

I gently grabbed Harry and tugged him away from Scarlett as Ed began his journey to the elevator with Louis in tow. We couldn't all fit in an ambulance, it'd be better if the three of us stayed behind to cool off and try to get a hold of Niall.

I looked at Liam sadly before walking to my room to grab a new shirt. Leaving the hotel room and walking across the hall, it felt so different. As if I switched dimensions, the atmosphere changed drastically. The air conditioning was on full blast as I entered the separate room, making goosebumps arise on my skin immediately.

I padded the carpeted floor to my dresser, pulling open the bottom drawer and grabbing a shirt.

I couldn't stop myself from chanting, "She'll be okay", over and over again in my head. Because it was true, she will be okay. Scarlett will always be okay.

I remember years ago when my older sister, Doniya, was crying late at night. I hated to hear my family cry, so I quietly tiptoed to her bedroom door and pressed my ear to the wood. It was no mystery that she was trying her best to cry silently, hoping no one would wake up and check on her.

I stood outside of her door that night, waiting for the crying to stop. Once it did, I lowered myself to the floor and sat with my back against the wall. She locked her door at night, so there was no way I could get in, the closest I could get was to sleep outside her door. And that's what I did. Then it happened again a few weeks later, but she forgot to lock her door. So I slipped into her room and frowned at her silhouette that stood beside the bay window.

And I still remember her face when she saw me sitting on her bed. She looked so distraught and it broke my heart to see my sister in that state. When I asked her what was wrong, she shook her head and crawled under her covers. I laid beside her, letting her play with my small fingers. Her hiccups lulled me to sleep that night and many nights after that. She started leaving her door unlocked...but I think it was more of a reminder to her that if she did anything to herself, I'd be the one to find her.

After been through so many situations with Scarlett, I realized that my own sister had depression. But just because it wasn't as bad as Scarlett, doesn't mean it made it any less of importance. My sister never hurt herself but she was still hurting on the inside. I just wish I saw it then opposed to now.

Scarlett's heart had scars we will never understand. Even before we met her, she was suffering. I look at her like another sister, I have to protect her. But how am I supposed to protect her against my best friend?

I took a seat on the hotel bed, gazing out the window at the crowd of fans. They all began screaming at the sight of me, I just wasn't in the mood to even share a smile or wave. My throat began to burn from holding back my sobs, like a giant ball was stuck in my esophagus trying to pour out of my mouth.

I don't know what was worse. The fact that Scarlett just attempted suicide or the fact that I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing to help.

We were all so mistaken. We thought she was better. We thought she was done hurting herself. We thought the thoughts went away. But does depression ever really go away?

It's the saddest people that try their hardest to make everyone around them happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless... and they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

I slid off the bed and out of the view of the window before breaking down. Sobs shook through my body and I couldn't seem to control them. It was that cry, the one where you can't breathe so you have to gasp for air like you've been drowning. And it continued that way for a while, my wails were louder than the fans outside the hotel. Louder than Niall's screams for help when he was dreaming all those months ago. Louder than Scarlett's contagious laughs or squeals when talking about Ed. Louder than Louis' fist banging on the door for Scarlett just minutes ago.