~~~~~ Alex - Kill me now ~~~~~
We all get to that one point in life when all we want to do is dig a hole and hide in it. This is definitely one of those moments. I was never this person, not until I came here and met her. I was strong and looked at my problems right in the eye. I never hid from anybody in my life. I didn't even run away from my grandmother when she had a belt in hand ready to beat me for not taking out the trash.
So why am I hiding from her? Why do I care what she thinks of me?
I hear Kylie laugh at my actions, which only makes me sink into my knees even more. Please just let me hide in my misery alone. She tries to lift my head again but I stand my ground and hug my knees as hard as I possibly can. I am still stronger than her. Kylie gives up and stands when I don't budge. I let out a breath of relief thinking she gave up, but it catches when I feel her sit right next to me.
God, you really don't like me do you? 'No response, I think he still doesn't like you.'
"Ismael says hi." Kylie says out of nowhere. I slowly lift my head and stare at her not exactly comprehending how he got into the conversation. She shrugs her shoulders at me and laughs. "I'm just sending his message. He is very irritating when he wants to be."
The memory hits me like a ton of bricks; He was about to kiss me. I almost kissed him in front of everyone thinking it was Kylie. I must have given him false hope. He even asked me to join his band and yet Ismael honestly never crossed my mind in the past few days.
"You're fan club also says hi and hopes you recover soon." Kylie grins as if remembering something but then frowns and balls her fists. This happens so quickly that when I blink, she's staring back at me with the widest grin on her face.
"I watched what you did to Ismael at the mall. I was there with Anthony and the squad that day and saw the guys in dresses. I was cracking up and even drew them for an art project which got me an A." She laughed which baffled me for a moment. Kylie of course didn't notice and kept talking. "Did you know that you have a Facebook fan page?"
I stare at her not sure if I heard her right. The things I want to know is why I have a fan club in the first place and how the heck did I end up in Facebook.
"Yeah you have I believe up to 500 fans but they just started it yesterday so I bet you will have more tomorrow." A huge smile is displayed on her face as she speaks. I try to listen to her, I really do, but she does the simplest things that distract me. Kylie may not realize it but she does things to me that no one else has ever done.
When i realize she has stopped talking I think back to what she said. I look at her as if she's crazy and get up totally forgetting that I'm not in jeans. Kylie gasps again and looks the other way. I quickly turn around and cover myself again. "Here" Kylie says getting up and handing me a pair of clothes, undergarments, and a pair of shoes. I thank Kylie as she exit's the bathroom, leaving me and my super red face alone.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I say banging my head on the wall again and again. This cannot be happening to me. The room becomes quiet now that she's gone. I quickly put on the clothes and lean on the sink with my head down.
"What is wrong with you?" I ask looking at myself on the mirror. I frown at my own reflection. "Why are you acting like this? You didn't use to be this way." My reflection stares back at me asking the very same questions. I pause not knowing the answer. I used to. I never would have allowed myself to be like this.