Amelia

I lay on my side and close my eyes. My heart starts to settle though I can still feel the heat of his body radiating. I sniffle and suddenly there's movement next to me. I feel Jude's arm brush against my back, then he rests it over my side and pulls me into him. I caress his hand and squeeze it, rolling onto my side. I sit up, searching the bed for my pajama pants.

"Are you leaving?" I turn around before I open his white-wooden door to see that he has sat up now. The sheets fall off of his chest so that I can see he's heaving. "You can't go anywhere without being questioned now. I'm not sure you understand."

"Understand what, exactly? I've got enough of an idea of how to hide, how to avoid the constables. What else do I need to know?" I ball my fists and furrow my eyebrows. My shoulders rise slightly and then I completely relax. He's right, of course. Why did I even try to put it up for debate? I can't escape the prison of our own home.

I stumble back over to our bed, climb over Jude and stretch out on top of the sheets.

"Will I ever be able to leave?"I ask with a sigh.

"Why so eager to leave this place? Why so eager to leave me?" he retorts and raises his arms up, placing his hands under his head.

"Not to leave you, Jude. Just to be somewhere else. Of course you can be with me. I want you to be with me." I prop my head on my elbow to face him. I look into his dark brown eyes and furrow my eyebrow. I begin feeling upset but I guess I shouldn't now because he is the one that doesn't know what he thinks I know. Unfortunately, I know nothing he wants me to know.

"I don't know," I finally say. A tear squeezes out of my right eye and I shake my head, disappointed in myself.

"Amelia," he whispers so gently. He rolls on his right side to face me, propping his head on his elbow like me. I collapse my arm and turn back on my right side away from Jude. He scoots over and puts his arm around me gently. I close my eyes tightly, rubbing my arm against his.

Silence. How can I go on explaining myself when this world-this universe with all the answers-is unreasonably misunderstood? This vast snow globe we are imprisoned in can have so many explanations, yet no one will listen.

"You want some breakfast?" Jude asks, flipping the sheets off of him. I hear him scavenging the floor for his clothes and I get out of bed, following his lead. "I'm starving." He slips his pajama pants on and tosses his maroon crew neck shirt over his head. I do the same, pulling on one of his sweatshirts.

"Do we have enough food?" I ask, following him out the creaking bedroom door. He turns around to face me. His face is longer than yesterday. The creases around his mouth are deeper. I wonder if that's how I look now.

"I can always go out to get more. The constables won't stop me. It's the women they worry about more. You know why. It's just not safe for you to go anywhere right now." He reaches out for my hand and I gently place it in his. He pulls me down the hallway of our flat and into the kitchen to the left. I let go of his hand and lean on the mint green linoleum counter. He walks over to the refrigerator and opens the larger of the two doors and bends down to look inside. I close my eyes and hear him rummaging through the shelves.

"Here we are," he grunts and I open my eyes as he stands up straight again. Smiling, he pulls out four eggs and a half-full carton of milk. "See," he ensues. "Food." I half smile and shrug. Food for one morning. What about tonight? Tomorrow? In a week? "Hey," Jude whispers. He kicks the refrigerator door shut and sets the eggs and milk down on the linoleum counter. I bite my lip and soon feel his warm skin engulf my fragile body. "We're okay, Amelia. As long as I've got you, I'm alive. Don't you feel the same?"

I swallow the sob forming in my throat. "The very same," I faintly utter. I close my eyes again and I feel Jude softly shake me.

"You'll never know how beautiful things can be if you close your eyes, Amelia," Jude sings my name and I smile very subtly.

"But nothing can be. That's the thing. That's the problem with this world," I protest.

"No, the problem is that you refuse to see the little things that make your entire world better. Doesn't my love help at all?"

"I'm alive. That's a start."

"And you're beautiful," he adds. I sigh doubtfully, pulling his hands off my body. "Help me find a clean pan to cook the eggs in." I take my hip off the counter and walk to the center of the kitchen and look at all of the cabinets all around me. I squint my eyes and then choose a white cabinet. I open it and find two dark-green colored pans. I pull one out and set it on the adjacent oven. I place my hands on the counter with my palms out and try to keep my eyes open but I don't see the beauty in any of this. Nothing.

There's only one way we are able to let light in without electricity and that is the white framed window that looks out to the endless plain of dirt behind our house. Far out into the distance, there are trees, many trees; woods. I hear dogs howl at night but they are lucky. They cry because they are without a home but I'd rather roam free than be here. Jude is the only thing that keeps me sane-keeps me alive and living here. I tilt my head to the left to look out our window and see the sun up, but I have never seen it rise, only set.

I zone out of my contemplation as Jude places his hand on my shoulder. I turn around and my eyes fix on his. He furrows his thick eyebrow and puts his right arm around me on the counter. I place my heavy head on his right shoulder and hold his shirt. He shushes me and I stop thinking but I can't stop feeling. Suddenly, there's a knock on our front door.

"Open up! Please!" a girl shouts. There's fear in her voice and I widen my eyes at Jude. He curls his lips under his teeth and then runs to the door. He takes the bolt off the door and switches the lock on the doorknob. The front door cracks open and Jude slightly pokes his head out before a girl in raggedy grey clothes forces her way in, yelping and pulling on her tangled black hair.

"Oh!" she exclaims. "Oh thank you!" She leans over and holds her stomach, letting out a distressed moan of pain.

"Who are you?" I gently utter. My bare feet carry me over to this girl that looks barely sixteen. She squeezes her eyes shut and moans again. My heart begins beating rapidly. "What is your name?" I ask firmly. She tilts her head up in my direction.

"J-" she breathes, showing her stained teeth. "Julie," she pauses. "I have no home. Please. I-"

"Jude," I warn. He strides over to Julie and put his hand on her back, guiding her in to the kitchen. I follow and stand up next to her while Jude gets tap water. She hiccups her sobs and her back is shaking. I shush her, bringing her into my arms and she clings to my neck.

"They're trying to kill her," she whispers, grabbing me tighter.

"Who?" I pull my head back to look at her contorted, pained face. She shakes her head left and right. I narrow my eyes, confused. Then she places a quivering hand on her stomach.