my lighters still lit

The pain isn't as deep as I was hoping it would be.
I was hoping i'd slit to the bone and watch it bleed.
but as very few drops fall to the ground I slowly move the blade around.
the deeper it goes, the more I forget.
the more blood that flows, the less I regret.
Giving all I had to him, and getting nothing in return,.
I knew it was time. To listen to my skin sizzle and burn.
noone understands. Not even my friends.
all I get is bitched at. When will the bullshit end.
I never thought id reach this point.
Never thought id stoop so low.
Never thought that a lighter and bobby pin could give my skin the right kind of glow.
The pain is here. The blood is flowing.
now its time to watch it dripp and keep the blood going.
as the blood dries I wash the blade. Hide my lighter. And cover my wrist.
my friend is coming over. I know want her to snitch.
now that its takin care of, ill be fine for a bit.
but in the back of my mind, my lighters still lit.