ALMOST A BRIDE (Open On Annie)

5

Unbeknownst to me, I must have fallen asleep at some point because...

 "Hey," Someone touched me on the arm, "Hey, You've been asleep for a while. In the sun. "

 I jumped. Shocked by the voice that was suddenly next to me; an American voice. I rubbed my eyes and looked up, coming face-to-face with Bradley Cooper.

I had to be dreaming.

 "Thought I would wake you, you're getting really burnt." Mr. Cooper spoke again.

If dreams had hidden meanings, what did this mean?  Or if Freud was right and you really are everyone in your dreams, what did a male version of me as Bradley Cooper, standing on the beach mean? Curious.

But whatever the deeper meaning and symbolic relevance, I decided to go with it, after all, it's seldom you come face to face with such male perfection, even if it is only in the deep recesses of your overactive imagination. I smiled up at him. God he was gorgeous.

My vision looked at me oddly, "Um... Are you okay? I think maybe you've had too much sun or something?"

Suddenly I started getting this strange feeling. Very strange. This was starting to feel less and less like a dream. Was Bradley Cooper really standing next to me on the beach? I squinted my eyes in an attempt to block out the glare that was partially silhouetting him. And as the blinding light lessoned and his facial features came into proper focus, I noticed the beard, the scruffy dark blonde hair and those greyish streaks...

It was Laptop guy. Instant disappointment set in. And then he spoke again, in a very broad American twang; it's strange how you hear American accents in movies and TV shows and barely notice them, but when taken out of context, like on a faraway island beach, they're suddenly very noticeable.  

"I think you need to get out of the sun."

I was still slightly disorientated and not a hundred percent sure what he was trying to say to me. The confusion must have shown on my face, because suddenly he was leaning in close, looking at me with the kind of concern you might have if you saw someone mixing paisley and pinstripes. He spoke again. This time his words were slow and deliberate.

"The...   Sun.....HOT....too....long....in...it."

Why was he speaking like Yoda?

"How long have I been here?" I looked around and noticed that the sun had shifted its position in the sky and I then, I became aware of an intense stinging sensation on my face and body.

 "Long enough," He said.

I tried to move, but winced, "Ouch." I glanced down at my various appendages and could see they had turned a lobster-esque color.

"Shit."

"Yip, " He said, "Like I said."

"I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep."