Rightfully Random!
Wotcher!
This contains a few rude words and references to some (PG)
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My mum was rambling on about hands and toes or something and I wasn't really listening. But here's the thing, I was reading a comment on Facebook about shifty eyes so I looked up at mum, weirdly and asked, "What was it about 'Shifty Toes?'"
Why did the Squirrel buy a Codpiece?
To protect his nuts!
I've always imagined a sweet shop like a pet shop, you always have to pick the ones you like.
It's no good picking a cat (chewing gum) if you want a dog (sherbet).
And there are different varieties (Flavours)
You can give a home to both (Sherbet flavoured chewing gum in yer mouth)
But they'll fight, (tastes awful).
Why is my life so awkward? I love cake but the icing makes it sickly. I end up staring longingly at it or cutting of the icing and half the cake with it (cutting it's head off, that how it feels!) Like leaving half your money behind!
My dads b-day card:
What does being a Dad and constipation have in common?
It's the hardest job you'll ever do, and is a right pain in the bum!
A hundred sticks of Dynamite sitting on a wall,
A hundred sticks of Dynamite sitting on a wall,
And if one stick of Dynamite would accidentally fall,
The'll be no more Dynamite and no more Mr. Wall!
~~~~~~My friend taught me this!
My parents swear they don't use me as a slave - YES, DAD! I'LL GET YOU A DRINK IN A MINUTE..!
I don't call the wrong number... You answer the wrong phone!
How to confuse an Idiot
Me: You know what?
Idiot: What?
Me: Nothing.
Another time
Me: You know what?
Idiot: What?
Me: Nothing.
When they learn.
Me: You know what?
Idiot stays silent
Me: Haha! I knew it!
Idiot: What?
Me: Nothing.
Hey what music do you listen to?
Does Nyan Cat count?
...
Cactus-------> Treehuggers welcome!
In Product Design (DT), a boy commented on my hair cut, which was new,
"You got your hair cut?" said the boy.
Me, "Yeah..."
"Well, you look like a knob."
He smirked. I smirked.
"You don't need a new hair cut to look like a knob..." I answered.
"Hello, Emergency services. Which service do you require?"
