A/N: I absolutely LOVE funny pick-up lines, funny quotes, and such... These are just some of my favorites! I don't own any of them unless I say I do! Enjoy! (:
~Funny Pick-Up Lines~
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
You turn my floppy disk into a hard drive!
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in!
If I had a garden, I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.
Let's commit the perfect crime; I steal your heart, and you steal mine.
I won't use a pick-up line, if you let me buy you a drink.
Do you have a band-aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you!
You're like an encyclopedia... You barf out random pieces of information. Can I rent you for the night? I need to do my homework. (; -@selcouthghost and me!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
~Amazing Terrible Pick-up Lines~
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [No!] That's okay, the other two pigs said no too!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Oh really? I'd put F and U together.
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is pretty messed up.
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Who's your friend?
Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican me crazy! Are you from Yukon? Because Yukon go screw yourself.
I put the STD in stud, all I need is 'u.'
Hey baby, let's play carpenter! I get hammered and then I nail you... Sorry, you didn't bring enough wood.
I know milk does a body good, but damn! You probably never had any.
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim Carrey
"Go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company." -Mark Twain
"Men are like bank accounts; without any money, they generate little interest." -Unknown
"A woman once said a man is like a deck of playing cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to bash his head with, and a spade to bury him." -Unknown
"Enjoy life! There's plenty of time to be dead later." -Unknown
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before." -Mae West
"We're the kind of people who laugh at a joke 3 times; once when it's being told, once when it's being explained, and again five minutes later when we actually get it." -Unknown
"I tend to laugh at my mistakes, so pardon me if I laugh in your face." -Unknown
"If you are talking shit behind my back, then you are in a better position to kiss my ass." -Unknown
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid rather than to open it and remove all doubt." -Mark Twain
~60 Things to Do in an Elevator~