***This is from the unedited version and content may change*** **Mature Content Warning*** 17+ for language and sexual content.***
I’m trying not to fucking freak out, but Gemma’s been gone for hours. It’s driving me literally crazy and that dying feeling that I get whenever we’re apart for too long is starting to surface. The electricity dwindling. Tiredness setting in. I miss her. Need her here—want her here. I've never wanted anything this bad before and it’s confusing the shit out of me.
“Alex, would you please try to relax,” my sister Aislin begs as she watches me pace the small living room, raking my fingers through my brown hair over and over again, as I veer toward the brink of insanity.
“I can’t,” I tell her, quickening my pacing speed, despite how tired I’m getting, the energy draining from my body. “You don’t get it. I can’t even think straight.”
She shifts on the sofa, leaning forward to grab a bottle of water from the coffee table. We’re at the beach house, been sitting there for hours, waiting for Gemma or Laylen to show up, but they’re both missing. Part of me is worried they’re together—that when Gemma went looking for Laylen, she found him, and then they wandered off to do god knows what. I actually I have a few ideas. Ideas that make my blood burn beneath my skin. My muscles tighten. My fists clench. The need to smash them into something so overwhelming it takes a lot of control not to go over the wall and punch it.
Then there’s always the other alternative and that one makes me ache. That something did happen to her. That maybe the Death Walkers got a hold of her. Or Demetrius. Or maybe my father. It’s the one solution I don’t want to admit. I hate thinking of him as evil, but not because I don’t believe he is. I do. But it’s been engrained in my mind to think of him as good. For as long as I can remember, while I was growing up, I was taught to worship and obey him. Everything he said was right otherwise I was punished. And even though I’m a Keeper and have a higher pain tolerance than the average person, my father is an Immortal and is way stronger than I am. The punches. The kicks. Being whipped. Locked up without food. The torture. It wasn’t easier to endure. If I cried, he’d only made my life more of a living hell. I learned not to cry. Not to feel pain. Not to feel anything. Yes, sir. That’s how I learned to be around him. But now… everything’s all screwed up. I think deep down I knew there was something messed up about my father, more than just the beatings. But I didn’t think it was that he was working against everything the Keeper’s represented. To protect humanity, not destroy it.
“Oh for the love of God. I can’t watch this anymore.” Aislin gets up from the sofa and steps in front of my pacing path. I slam to a stop, almost running over her and she has to step back. “Would you settle down? You’re seriously going to wear a hole in the floor.”
“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” My tone is clipped but that’s just how Aislin and I are together. We’re brother and sister. We fight. We’re rude to each other. But deep down, I’d never want anything happen to her. In fact, a lot of the times when she’d get in trouble as a child, I’d take the fall and the beatings to spare her the pain. I can handle it better anyway. “And I can’t settle down.” I swing around her and continue pacing the length of the room. “If I do, then I’ll lose my mind.”
She sighs and then sinks down on the armrest of the sofa. “I’ve never seen you act like this over anyone before… It’s interesting.” She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And really unsettling.”
“I now.” I fold my arms, pacing, pacing, pacing. “I’m not even sure what’s causing it... I just feel so…” I trail off. I fucking hate talking about my feelings. After an emotionally numb childhood, I find it easier not to feel anything at all. But with Gemma… well, it’s out of my hands. Although, I’m not one hundred percent sure what exactly I feel for her just yet. It’s really confusing and intense, amongst a thousand other things.