Okay so this is something off of Tumblr, a blog called Teenage Post where they post pictures of writing about teenage lives, and some of them honestly say the funniest things, if your on Tumblr and don't follow them you have to! Hope you enjoy as much as I did! :)
"The awkward moment a faceless, emotionless, white mannequin can pull off an outfit better than you can"
"Your so lazy" "No I'm not, I've been converting oxygen into carbon dioxide all day, I'm tired"
"The walk of shame when you fail at throwing a paper ball into a bin"
"The awkward moment you tickle someone and their not even ticklish"
"When little kids are chasing me... I run slow so they think their fast"
"The awkward moment when you try to explain how a song goes to someone but don't want to sing it"
"I'm a bitch? Your a bitch, your mum is a bitch for having a bitch, your dad is a bitch for fucking a bitch, now who's the bitch, bitch?"
"I'm a leader, not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then your going first"
"Dear music, thank you for being there when no one else was"
"You are what you eat... that's funny, I don't remember eating a sexy beast today"
"No offense means 'I am about to insult you, but don't get mad' "
"The awkward moment when your walking down the stairs, and think there's another step and you hulk stomp the ground" - This one actually made me laugh so hard, 'hulk stomp' lmao! xD
"The disgusting moment when you accidently touch a piece of gum under the table at school"
"That awkward moment you realize your chewing on a borrowed pen"
"That horrible moment when a guy hits your boob by accident"
"It doesn't matter how old you are, if a balloon is about to hit the ground, you dive for that shit"
"Liking a facebook status that is clearly about you because your a fearless bastard"
"I don't hate you, I'm just simply not excited about your existence"
"Penguins can't fly. I can't fly. Therefore I am a penguin"
"Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn"
"Shutting the door to force your pet into spending time with you"
"I'm not arguing, I'm just simply explaining why I'm right"
"Smiling at old people to let them know your not a teenage thug" - I totally do this ALL the time xD
"That awesome feeling you get when you open a jar everyone else was struggling with"
"English teachers put more thought into the novel than the actual authour did"
"I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking "
"Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything, your job is to pump blood, that's it"
"The awkward moment when Eminem raps faster than your internet connection"
"2012: Cool story, bro. 1886: Interesting tale, my fine companion"
"Your cute when your mad" "Yeah, well, I'm about to get real fucking adorable" - Might use this one xD
"OMG ARE YOU OK?!" "Oh, yeah I'm just bleeding for fun"
"Listening to someone telling a story and inside your thinking 'Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie' " I do this ALL the time xD
Hope you enjoyed! :)