Misplaced (Completed)

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

I was outside again, in the cold. This time though, I was slightly more prepared, with a thick black coat layered over my sea foam green skater dress. My black woolen tights were barely visible thanks to the long black boots covering my legs almost up to my knees.

The harsh wind was no longer a shock to my system, having been walking outside for a good fifteen minutes already. My body had become pretty immune to the frigid weather by now. The walk was long and lonely, but I didn't want to come here with my family, this was something I liked to do alone. It was my time to do this. The sky was filled with white clouds and was shockingly bright even though there was no sun to be seen. The hard grass crunched underneath me as I continued my trek.

Soon enough, I caught sight of our local church. The building was old, made out of stone giving the edges a jagged look. The large wooden door looked imposing and intimidating, but the wood also held a slight warmth to it. I walked past it and round the side of the church, counting the rows as I went past. Row eight. I walked some more, looking for a tiny head stone amongst the larger, and more eccentric ones.

I soon found the familiar slate grey marble stone. A gold plaque - much like the one embodied into the bench by the park - sat in the center, it's engraving sitting deep and proud for all to read.

'Emma Joe Carter lies here. So young and taken so soon. Have a fulfilling journey, wherever your precious soul has gone.

Loved and missed by all.'

It was so simple, but so beautiful. I can still remember all of us sitting there, thinking up of things we could write. This seemed to fit her the most. We couldn't decide which one, either the one on the bench or the one that read here, either way though, we got them both. The council were gracious enough to allow us to place a plaque there, reminding all of the community of Emma, and of their work and donations that helped us through our younger lives. We could never thank them enough.

Sadly, Emma wasn't alive long enough to really reap the benefits of their hard work.

Instead, she was ripped from our lives quicker than we ever expected; quicker than anyone would have wanted.

I took my coat off and placed it on the ground. I wanted to talk to her but I wasn't about to get my clothes wet and muddy. Instead, I sat upon my jacket, folding my legs criss-cross and finally letting out a deep breath that I had been holding in. In my left hands, I clutched a little vase, a blue glass one with intricate flower and paisley designs drew in gold to match the epitaph. Inside were a few fake white Begonias, mixed with a handful of artificial forget-me-nots. A perfect bunch for what I wanted to say.

"You'll never be forgotten, I’m always thinking of you, and I’m sorry for not being able to do enough to help you." Saying the words out loud was a difficult task for me, I was getting choked up already, and I’d only been here for a minute or so.

“It’s been another year. They go so quick. I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling as if I’ve left you behind for another year. There are all these things that-” the sigh I let out shuddered through me before I continued. “All these years that you’ve missed, that you’ll never get to experience. I can never apologise enough for what happened, but I want you to know that I’m sorry, that I’m still really sorry.”

And it was true, no matter how long I lived, I would never stop being sorry for what happened. I can’t go back and change it, I can only move forwards, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to move ahead without her, nine years later, and I still want her to be back at my side. Almost a decade since she was gone. That’s a long time. But it certainly doesn’t feel like it.