"Are you ready for nationals?" Coach Sam shouted, our hair drenched of sweat. The locker room reeked of something indescribable, probably feet with the a little touch of body odor. Some still grasping for air while I quenched my thirst from an energy drink. I took a glimpse to where the seniors were babbling confidentially. They sure have no respect for Coach Sam. Then Sandra caught my glance and I looked away.
"Your next match would be in two weeks time." Coach Sam then glared at the "the three lords" who were busily jabbering away.
"Sandra!" He shouted and all our attention on them. Sandra froze and nodded an insensitive smile. Fuck this girl, I thought.
Then Coach Sam continued, "I have great expectations on this team." His eyes were fixed on me as if I am the only player in the room. I felt awkward and pretended to be drinking, once in a while.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" Coach Sam responded.
Then she walked in. Jane came in with some documents in one hand. It's been a month since she has last tutored me. It was the first and the last lesson we had.
I didn't know what had happened, but after that weekend with Micah and Jen in my place, Jane never seemed to call or message me with updates (with lessons, of course.) I was completely surprised when a geeky senior came to tutor me on the following Wednesday, whereby Jane was supposed to meet me. And after that disappointing lesson, due to the fact that the geek talked to herself most of the time, I searched for Jane. When I saw her, she hurriedly walked away as if like I am some contagious disease. And since then, Jane avoided me. And she would only force a smile on days when she appeared to be unconscious of my presence.
Jane passed the bunch of files to Coach Sam. She didn't look at me or at anyone in the room. I heard silence in the back. I guess everyone's gawking at her, like what I was doing. She turned back to the door and quickly walked out. My eyes followed her. She was never mine, but why do I feel pain?
"Okay girls, your practice would be doubled!" Coach Sam continued.
"That sucks..." everyone moaned in complain, apart from me. I smiled at Coach Sam. More practice would mean that I would have less time on thinking about what had happened for the past weeks. I recently had my insomnia back after that intimacy with Micah in the bathroom. There was something going on which I just couldn't figure out now.
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"Hey Arch!" Jen grabbed my shoulder with a huge grin on her face. Perhaps, she's in thought of something mischievous, again. I smiled at her and opened my locker.
"What is it fuck face?" I asked indifferently.
"Guess what?" She responded in a tone of excitement.
"I'm not in the mood for guessing." I took out a book and gave her a look of boredom.
"Well, Misha asked me to be her date." She giggled and continued, "For their senior's prom."
I choked, my eyes wide opened.
"Jen, there are no lesbian dates in proms." She was still in her dreamland, smiling to herself. "Jen, there'll be boys (from boys' high) and teachers in their prom."
Jen then looked at me and smiled. "Arch, it's the 21st century now. Don't you see girls holding hands in our school without teachers bothering about it?"
"Holding hands does not mean intimacy, fuck face." I replied.
"Well, I've heard that there were lesbian and gay dates in last year's prom." She said while her eyes faraway. Damn Jen, I guess she's head-over-heels in love with Misha.
"And what did the teachers' say about it?" I asked.
"Nothing... Love works in mysterious ways Arch. Be true to yourself." Jen laughed and was then distracted. I look to her where her source of distraction was. It was Patricia who was staring hard to our direction. Patricia hates me and I could sense it at any distance. I gulped hard and quickly faced my locker.
"Arch..."Jen said, shivering.
I looked back to see Patricia nearer by centimeters away. I enforced a smile. She stared right through my eyes if she hated me to my very core. Her gaze then went to Jen, who looked stunned.
"Jen, you're going out with Misha?" She asked devilishly.
"Well... hmmm... yes?" Jen retorted, uncertain.
Patricia grinned and said, "Good luck." And she walked off.
"Arch, I couldn't imagine her being your girlfriend."
"Neither could I." And we both laughed.
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I headed straight to the school garden to get some inspiration for my art project. The sound of water flowing from the fountain inspired me of sketching it. I then sat at a bench and started drawing.
My attention was then diverted to my phone. Micah was calling. I picked it up.
"Arch, how's the fountain?"
I quickly searched for her. She has to be somewhere.
"Moron, I'm not around you. Look further ahead." She giggled.
I looked further to where the deserted court was. The cheerleaders were there, practicing. I quickly looked for Jane.
"She's not here yet." Micah laughed. She has probably noticed my desperate search.
"Micah, why are you guys there anyway?" I asked curiously.
"Privacy, I guess." She retorted. I watched her waved at me. I waved back. "Nationals' in couple of week from now, so we need to be far away from spies." She explained with a chuckle.
"Well, good luck then.'' I said and told her about my art project. We then hung up the call and went back to what we were supposed to be doing. I focused myself back to the fountain.
Then I remembered the anonymous girl who I was supposed to meet at the abandoned court. Who could it be? Could it be someone I know? And why would that someone want to meet me in some deserted place?
I was distracted from my thought as I heard someone walking on the dried leaves. I looked to where it was coming.
"Hey Jane!" I shouted, with all my guts out. If she does not want to talk to me, then I would make her. She couldn't possibly avoid me every time I am around. It's just too suffocating for me.
Jane looked to where I was, shocked. She smiled and quickly walked directly to the court. I chased after her. Today's the day I'll tell her about what I feel. If she wouldn't acknowledge it, it'll be fine as long as she stop herself from staying away from me. I could always love her in a distant and just be her friend, right? I gulped.
"Jane, wait a minute." I yelled at her. She stopped and slowly faced me. I rushed towards her and made a halt just half a meter away. I swallowed hard.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked shakily. "Why are you avoiding me?" I continued.
Jane compelled a smile. "There's nothing wrong Arch."
I knew she was lying. Her eyes couldn't betray me. It's like I've known them all my life. I slowly went nearer.
"Jane, I've been thinking really hard." I could feel Jane getting uncomfortable with every step I made. I quickly stopped.
"Jane, I don't know what's really going on. With you. With me. With everything." I said, exasperated. Her eyes were now glued on mine. I could feel my heart missing a beat again. I swallowed hard.
"I like you...more than I can imagine." Jane was in silence, her eyes wide opened, stunned. I looked down and mumbled, "I guess I love you." Still, there was no response.
I then looked up to see Jane walking off and felt a knife stabbed through my heart. My world stopped in that moment. Oh god, take me away from here, I thought.
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