Gone Country

Chapter 19 (Acceptance)

He cleared his throat, lowering his head to hide his pink cheeks. I stared at my hands sitting on my lap, sneaking glances every now and then to see if he was looking at me. He was. With how quickly he sat up and distanced himself, I knew it wasn't a good sign.

"Can I go now?" I managed to ask, though the silence was so thick it was suffocating. We had been awkwardly sitting here for ten minutes in the laundry room and I was sweating buckets. He knew now, he got what he wanted, why make me suffer even more with this prolonged silence in between us?

"No," he softly gruffed. "I haven't apologized."

I played with my fingers, peaking up at him when he moved a little closer to me, just enough to where he could reach out and rest his hand on top of mine. "You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault. Everything is my fault."

His thumb moved across of the back of my hand, slowly swiping back and forth to comfort me. That alone made me want to grab his face and kiss him hard on the lips again. "If I led you on, Charlotte..."

"It's not your fault!" I shouted, pulling my hand away. "I'm fine," I lowly grumbled under my breath. "I'll be fine."

He sighed in frustration, the frustration being towards me. Even though I was being difficult for guarded reasons, he still leaned in and gave my forehead a kiss. "If it's any consolation," he murmured. "I won't date anymore girls for a while after tonight, okay?"

I looked up, somehow meeting his eyes. "Who are you going out with tonight?"

He gave a shrug, showing a look of disinterest that made me crack a smile. "Just some girl from high school that's not nearly as beautiful as my best friend. She's nothing special."

And this is why I love him. It wasn't nearly as awkward as it should've been. Somehow he had accepted the fact that I liked him in that way, and found a way to comfort me. There was only one problem. "I don't want you to stop dating because of me, that's why I didn't want to say anything. You like dating, it makes you happy..." I had to stop when he placed his index finger over my lips.

"What about you, Charlotte?" he wanted to know. "Am I suppose to continue seeing other girls knowing how you feel about me? I can't do that, I would never be happy knowing that you were hurting. I rather stay here with you where we can both be happy."

He took my hands in his, holding on to them while he stood to his feet. With one strong tug, he pulled me up with him and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Besides," he smugly grinned. "I think it's cute that you're crushing on me, Charlotte. This reminds me of the good ole days, right damsel?"

I shyly clung to his hand, nodding in response. It felt good to get it out, but I had a feeling that he was going to tease me about this more than he should. Honestly, it didn't matter, nothing did as long as I got out of that hot box of a laundry room.

He pulled on his clothes that he had taken off, making sure to shoot me a smug smile when he saw that I was watching him. Finally, we stepped out the laundry room into the nice cool hallway. I fanned my face, trying to get more relief on the way to the kitchen. "Tell me, Charlotte, how long has this been going on? How long have you so desperately wanted me?"

Yep, he was going to enjoy this way too much. I groaned, letting him know that I was annoyed by this. Instead of telling him when, I asked something I wanted to know. "You never said anything about that date I brought up. Give me an answer and I'll give you mine."

He stopped at the kitchen's entry way, pulling me out in front of him. "Char," he sighed. Pain filled his eyes when he saw me waiting. "No," he declined, sadly kissing my forehead. "I won't..." He uncomfortably cleared his throat, trying his best to say it. "I won't go on a date with you."

I already knew that's what he was going to say, but I never could've been prepared for how much it ripped my heart in two. "I'm sorry," he murmured when he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"I realized it when I woke up in the hospital and fought my way through doctors and nurses to go see you," I admitted once my face was buried into his chest. "That bull had been headed straight for you, Brant. If I wouldn't have ran out there when I did, it would've killed you. I was terrified that I hadn't jumped over that fence in time, that after it got me no one had gotten you out of the corral quick enough..."

He hushed me and constricted his arms around my body before I started to cry again. I think he got that the idea of almost losing him brought me to the thought of actually liking him romantically. "I can't believe you actually did that for me."

We pulled out of our hug and I gave him a weak smile in response. "Yeah, well, apparently I have a soft spot for you." I turned around, walking ahead into the kitchen without him. For the thirty minutes we had been in that steaming hot laundry room, everyone had gathered into the kitchen for the nice lunch that Stella had made.

Stella, Jack, Avery, Jax, my father, Jives, and even Austin was here for this unique type of luncheon. I wrapped my scarf that tied my outfit together back around my neck, and greeted everyone with a smile.

"Charlotte is crushing on me!!" Brant couldn't help but yell.

Everyone stopped making their plates and looked at him. "We know," they said in unison. Brant gave a pout as they resumed on with their lives like it was no big deal. Everyone has known for over a week now, the excitement has worn off. I gave his back a pat, then hurried to get in line for food.

Avery was the last in line, she was too busy holding on to Jax to make her own food, so he made a plate for the both of them. Their relationship was so cute, I was glad that they weren't fighting anymore and had agreed to spend their anniversary with Jax's grandfather.

Avery had come over in the middle of the week and we planned it. Somehow she got her mother and father to agree, but Jax wasn't so sure about it at first. It hadn't been that he didn't want her to go, just that he thought she deserved a better anniversary than going to see his sickly grandpa. Avery hadn't minded, I actually think she's excited to meet the man. They honestly didn't know how lucky they were to have one another.

I sighed, going to grab a plate, only Brant's hand covered mine. "Can we eat outside, Char?" he asked. "I still want to talk to you about some things, if that's okay."

I nodded, curious as to what else there was to talk about. Everything was out in the open now, there wasn't anything else left to discuss. "Now, what do you want? Ham? These weird hot pocket like things that I'm sure Jives made?" he questioned

I giggled when he pointed to the plate of food I was positive Jives made. "That's Chicken Cordon Bleu, one of my favorites." Brant gave me a curious look. "It's chicken with ham and cheese in the middle. It's really good."

He gave a shrug and stabbed a piece of the chicken with a fork he had to transfer it onto the plate we were supposedly sharing. Brant got some of the honey baked ham, potato salad, and green beans. When it came to what I wanted, I selected potato dauphinoise and Jives' fancy three cheese macaroni that I love.

Brant carried our food outside after he said he would be at the barn, I stayed behind to get the drinks for us. Once the back door closed, I was suddenly surrounded by adults and teenagers, all who were asking the same question. "Are you and Brant together?!?" they all shouted at me.

I flinched, nearly dropping the two glasses of sweet tea in my hands. They all gave me eager, hopeful, expectant looks like they were dying to know what was going on. My aching heart reflected outwardly, making everyone frown when I crushed their hopes with my sad smile. "No, we're not," I told them. "He thinks this is just liking and crushing, he doesn't know that I actually love him, I'd like to keep it that way."

My father kissed the top of my head, seeming proud that I told some of the truth to Brant. Jives did the same as my father with the same proud, satisfied look on his face. Everyone let me leave the house in one piece. I glanced at them on my way out to see supportive smiles and eyes full of encouragement. They didn't want me to give up, they wanted me to keep trying until Brant told me to back off.

I was glad everyone was rooting for me, it made dealing with the pain a little more easier. This wasn't over yet, the battle for Brant's heart was still in full rage, and this girl was determined to win. He didn't know it yet, but I loved him more than my own self. I think that shone through when I tried to save him that night from that bull. Rather me than him, that's exactly how I saw it.

I walked across the yard toward the barn, trying to fight off this heart attack I felt like I was going through. It was in my head, I knew that the tightening in my chest was just from Brant's rejection, not a dysfunctional heart. It was still pumping in my chest, I was still alive, my heart was functioning properly, it was just cracked.

When I reached the barn, Brant was waiting on a hay bale, munching away on my food more than his. He would never admit it, but he loved Jives' fancy cooking. I took a seat next to him on the bale of hay, smiling when he automatically held up a piece of ham to my lips. Brant Young was a weird one, that was for sure. I just couldn't believe he was okay with this, with me having a thing for him. It was like it was nothing.

Or so I thought.

When I asked what he wanted to talk about, he seemed to tense up and shyly look away from me. It just made me all the more curious when he acted this way. I wanted to know what he was thinking that made his cheeks shade an innocent pink.

"I need for you to promise me that you won't hate me, Charlotte. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt, but I don't feel how you feel...." He squirmed uncomfortably, his eyes still lowered away from mine. "There's a chance I'll never feel the way you do. I had to live without my once in a lifetime best friend for eleven years, I don't want that to happen again."

I understood completely. He was insane to think that I could possibly leave him with how I felt. There was no way I could walk away from him ever again, no matter how this all turned out. I couldn't see me loving anyone else. Odds weren't particularly in my favor, he couldn't even see himself going on a date with me after all. Lucky for him, I'm a fighter. I would try until I couldn't anymore.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here, most likely destroying your room over jealousy when you leave at night to go on a date with another girl," I kidded.

He cracked a smile, finally lifting his dark blue eyes to look at me. I would never destroy his room because I was jealous, I would only harmlessly tell him off in my mind for being such a inconsiderate jerk. "You can hold off for a while," he softly laughed. "After tonight, there isn't going to be anyone, not right now."

I looked to the food in starving mode. Thankfully he began feeding me while going over some more things with me. Now that I had confessed to liking him, he thought it was necessary that I start to get to know him even better. I knew everything about him, from his favorite color to his size eleven and a half feet. What more could there possibly be?

"You know that I'm extremely protective..." I nodded. "You just don't know why I'm like this now. I asked for Avery's permission to tell you what happened a couple of years ago, she thinks you need to know, we all do, it's just hard for her to say it, so I'm going to."

He was scaring me. One look at him and his eyes showed such a vulnerable remorse that I could hardly look at him without having my eyes moisten. "It was on a Tuesday, she was waiting for me to come out of school so we could wait for my parents to come pick us up together."

For comfort, he took my hand in his to hold tight. I knew how upset he was as soon as his skin touched mine. It was strange, but I felt like he could touch me once and I would feel every emotion that he was going through in that moment.

"I was caught up in Caroline, I should've been waiting with my sister, but instead I was flirting with Caroline in the school hallway. Next thing I know, Clay is running down the hall yelling that Avery has been kidnapped. The middle school is right next door to the high school, Char, I could've prevented it!"

I couldn't stop myself from circling my arms around his neck, pulling him down to my chest when I saw tears in his eyes. My mind could barely process what he was telling me. How was Avery here if she had been kidnapped? Hardly ever does a girl in that situation get to walk away from it. She was a lucky girl.

"Jax saw everything," Brant quietly explained. "He knew something wasn't right and remembered the license plate number. If he hadn't of done that, she wouldn't be here. He made her do things that I'll never forgive myself for letting happen. It could've been worse, but what he did was enough to haunt her."

I stroked his hair, my heart squeezing in disgust at how vile that man had to of been in order to do such a thing to sweet Avery. He deserved to rot in prison or possibly be killed for his actions. "I'll protect her with my life, and with you here, I can't help but want to protect you too. That's all I have ever wanted to do."

I didn't know what to say, mostly because I was still shocked about the sudden news. No one had ever bothered to tell me something had happened to Avery, not even my own father. My father and Jack talk about everything, there was no doubt that he knew about this. I would kill him later for keeping something that important away from me.

"I'm a big girl, don't worry about me," I whispered to Brant. "I'm gonna be okay," I tried convincing. My wavering tone suggested otherwise.

He sighed, sitting up so that we were eye to eye. I couldn't tell what was on his mind this time, everything was shut off in his eyes for reasons unknown. "Come here, I'll give you one that you'll be remembering for a while."

What the heck was he talking about?

I didn't get a chance to ask before he gripped my chin and pulled me in so quickly that it took me a good five seconds to realize that his lips were on mine. He had no clue as to what the few seconds he gave me really meant. I wouldn't say that it gave me hope that he would change his mind about me, I just felt relieved that he did care whether or not if I was hurting over this. Jives and Niona had been right.

For those astonishing ten seconds that his lips had captured mine, I was given an inexplainable joy. My heart beat said his name with every loud thump it slammed against my chest. For some reason my hands were clammy in a nervous way. This was Brant, yet I was still nervous that my kisses weren't any good. Chaos was happening in my body and he didn't even know it.

His smile stretched across my lips, making me shyly pull away before I smiled too. I couldn't help but hang my head in embarrassment and hide behind a fan of my hair. "It was just a kiss, Charlotte," he softly laughed. "You act like I gave you a strip show."

I'd pay top dollar to see Brant Young strip. It would be pretty hilarious at first, then there was no doubt I would end up drooling at how amazing he looked. "It's not my fault," I whined to him.

He softly chuckled, murmuring, "I know," while he stroked my cheek. I was fortunate that he was taking this well. I'm his best friend, I knew that he was still upset about all of this, but he was handling it better than I had expected.

"I didn't think you were going to take this very well," I confessed when I pointed to the mac and cheese on the plate.

He scooped some macaroni up on the spoon he had, gratefully bringing the bite of food up to my lips. "Well, it's a little weird," he admitted. "You're my best friend and you look at me as if I'm the hottest guy on the planet..."

I laughed, hitting his chest in protest. He burst out laughing, leaning forward to press his lips to my forehead. "I do not do that!" I yelled playfully at him.

He grinned across my forehead, still chuckling at how easy it was to tease me about this. "You know you do, Charlotte."

My heart beat quickened when he encircled his arms around me. It was moments like these that I realized how much I was falling for him. At times I wished it never would have happen, then I get caught up in these good times and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You're not hot to me, Brant," I breathed through my smile. "You're dashing and handsome. Austin is hot, only because I don't care for him in the way I care for you."

I didn't fairly know how to explain how I saw him. He was gorgeous to me. For me, looking at Brant was seeing everything I have ever wanted in a guy. He's protective, caring, funny, good looking, and he's always been there for me when I've needed him the most.

"Am I the handsomest?" he teased.

I laughed, but nodded in reply. "Yeah, you're the handsomest." He pulled away so we could continue eating, only I was too caught up in him to even focus on food. Even though we weren't together, somehow I was still happy where we were. He wasn't the only one taking this pretty well. I was just rejected by the guy I loved, why was I so calm?

I guess I didn't mind loving him whether or not he shared the same feelings. It was such an easy thing to do, just like breathing. I didn't have to remind myself to breath, I also didn't have to remind myself to love him. Everything happened naturally.


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Thin light blue camisole, check.

Pink and blue plaid pajama bottoms, check.

Bunny slippers, definite check.

This is how I was dressed when my father dropped my off at the young house. Avery wanted me to stay over for girl time and girl time with her was something I just couldn't afford to miss after what Brant told me at lunch.

I went home for a while with my father and Jives who were planning on taking Jack out on the town for some fun. Jives didn't really drink, but my dad and Jack do so they would hit up a bar, have a couple beers over guy talk, and leave Stella, Avery, and I here to watch a couple of romance movies.

The Young's didn't have a DVD player, so I brought along my laptop and my favorite movies that we could enjoy together. I was hoping that they would like UP, Mean Girls, and possibly Crazy, Stupid, Love. I had a feeling UP would be their favorite. No one can hate Doug.

Before I got to open the door, it swung open to reveal Brant looking extra dashing. He was wearing his favorite black boots, his best jeans, and a light orange dress shirt that complimented his tan skin. I let my eyes meet his surprised dark blue ones. Somehow I had forgotten to mention these plans to Brant.

I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't tell him I was staying over, he looked too confused as to why I was here to have been informed. "I'm staying over," I explained. He raised a brow, casting a glance over his shoulder to see if anyone was behind him. I did a mental face palm when I realized he thought I meant with him. "No.." I interrupted when he gave me a sad look. He was about to tell me that we couldn't do that, not now with everything about my feelings in the open. "Avery wanted me to stay over before she leaves over the weekend. It's kind of a girl's night."

He gave a smile, then quickly leaned over to press his lips to my forehead. Life was so cruel to me. One whiff of his cologne made me weakly lean into his arms. He smiled against my skin, unashamedly wrapping his strong arms around me to support me. "Have a good time," I forced out. I wanted him to have the worst time imaginable, but if this girl was the one to become his everything, I wanted him to enjoy it no matter who it hurt, that person being me of course.

"I'll try," he sighed, lowering his head to my shoulder. "Refrain from destroying my room, will ya?"

I softly laughed, giving a nod in agreement. We pulled away from one another, ready to part and go our separate ways. It was like plunging a knife in my own chest by letting him do this, then there was a part of me who wanted him to find the right girl and not end up like me. If he were to continue dating, it definitely would be hard, but it would also be understandable. There was nothing wrong with not wanting to be lonely.

I stepped around him, seconds from slipping into the house when he grabbed onto my hand to stop me. "Charlotte, wait." He gently tugged me back outside. For some reason, the crazy boy swept me off my feet to cradle me in his arms.

I looked at him as if he had gone mad. "Brant, put me down!" I demanded. I was so glad my laptop was in a over the shoulder carrying case or I would've dropped it

"Just give me a second," he said while stepping off the porch. I held on while he carried me off to his mother's favorite flower bed in the front yard. He sat my bunny slipper feet into the plush grass next to the flowers, smiling a wide grin when I hit him in the arm for randomly picking me up.

He bent down, searching through all of the wild flowers in the bunch for something particular. A second later he was standing upright, tucking a single daisy behind my left ear with a caring expression. "A daisy means innocence and cheerfulness," he explained when his fingertips fell down my cheek. "You have the innocence, I just..." He let out a heartfelt sigh, expressing how saddened he was.

"I'm fine, Brant, stop worrying." I gave him a friendly hit to the arm and a very convincing smile to help him out.

"I know," he murmured, reaching over my shoulder to play with my ponytail. "I just want to tell you that I love you. I don't know if it's okay for me to say it anymore, but you're my best friend and I do."

I didn't regret telling him as much as I thought I was going to. It killed me seeing him like this. He was thinking he needed to prove himself in some way to show that he was being just as serious as I was about this. To him, this was too important for him to put off as nothing. He was fine with it, he just didn't know quite what to do now.

"I've gotta go," he said as he pulled my arms around his torso, wanting me to give him a hug before he left. "I'll see you later, New York." He gave my cheek a little kiss that made my face heat warm at the contact of his lips. "You look cute by the way," he playfully whispered in my ear.

I rolled my eyes at him, turning to go once more when he decided to pick me up in his arms again. This time he was determined to get a smile out of me when he headed back toward the house. I couldn't help but shriek when he pretended to drop me, it was something that has always freaked me out. I trusted him to catch me, the feeling of falling was my only fear.

I clutched to him, only laughing when he tripped over his own feet going up the stairs because he was distracted. He gave me a goofy grin, lowering my feet onto the porch this time. "Bye."

I waved a goodbye, but never moved an inch. I touched the flower in my hair as I watched him leave the porch and soon back out the driveway in the old work truck of theirs. He watched me through the windshield, I'm surprised he didn't wreck with how he was more focus on me than his mirrors or what was behind him.

It was hard watching him leave to go on a date with another girl. He must have sensed that, because the next thing I know the truck is screeching to a halt and he's getting out. I met him halfway across the yard. My aching heart just overpowered my mind in that moment.

He lifted me off the ground in hug that I couldn't help but let myself fall apart in. I broke down, and I broke down hard. With my face buried in his shoulder and my fingers gripping in pain to the fabric on the back of his shirt, I bawled my eyes out like a baby. He couldn't do anything but tell me that he would be back, that I had nothing to worry about.

Lets face it, I had everything to worry about.

"I won't go," he whispered.

"You have to!" I yelled, forcing myself away from him. "I'll be okay, I'm okay." The words were coming out of my mouth, my body was just trembling and my eyes forsook me by crying even more.

"I can't leave you like this," he refused. "I'll cancel."

I shook my head, stubbornly refusing to what he thought was best. He had promised to take this girl out and he would stick to it. For the sake of the date, I wiped my tears and bucked up like the strong girl I was.

"I'm Charlotte Jackson," I proudly proclaimed. "Daughter of Lillian Jackson. I'm strong, I'm fierce, I can handle this."

I wasn't sure if I was reminding him who I was or if I was reminding myself. Brant wasn't buying it. He knew that I've always been strong like my mother, that sometimes being strong involved shedding tears when no one was looking. "I don't care how strong you are, I'm staying."

I couldn't let him ruin this. "You need to go," I ordered. "I need to cool down, you're just going to make it worse."

Before he could argue, I ran into the house in hopes that he wouldn't follow me. I peaked through the blinds, watching him run his hands through his hair while looking in between the house and truck.

"Leave, Brant," I whispered to no one. "I love you with all of my heart, but you promised her."

Some girls would've been ecstatic that he was willing to stay. I needed for him to go, to forget about me for a while and make a girl happy or to possibly let her make him happy. It didn't matter as long as one of them smiled tonight.
















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AN:)

Sorry it took so long!!

Trivia winner is: @TripleH253

No trivia question tonight. I can't even think straight right now in order to find one haha

Happy Early New Year!!! (or belated, whenever you are reading this)