Chapter 23: Unforgivable

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Two days later we went to the funeral. Mom dropped us off and hung about for a while before heading off to work. Robin held my hand the entire time. I couldn’t stand seeing John in that coffin. Something was wrong with this picture. Everything was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be in there. He didn’t belong in there. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, yet I couldn’t shed a single tear anymore.

David and Joe sat in the far back corner of the room, so I went to join them there. Come to think about it, I haven’t seen either one of them at school ever since I told Joe we would keep apart to make Kevin think we weren’t talking to each other. But what was the point anymore?

“Hey,” I told them.

Robin nodded. David and Joe nodded back. We sat in silence until Phoebe and Kevin came in. I felt disgusted. I didn’t want to see Phoebe’s face at all, and especially not now. Though Kevin… I would have killed him if he hadn’t showed up.

They greeted the family members before taking a seat next to us. Kevin and I were separated by one sobbing old lady that I figured was probably John’s aunt or something. I glanced at him when he sat down. He was in a terrible shape. His hair was messy, for one, and he had dark circles hanging beneath his eyes.

For once he looked exactly like the rest of us.

While John’s parents performed their speeches, I couldn’t help but look over at Kevin again. Phoebe spotted me and made a face. I looked away to avoid me throwing a chair at her right this second. Eventually, when we said our final goodbyes I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I was surprised when I saw it was Kevin’s. Phoebe was right behind him though. Of course; she was stuck to him like glue until she would break up with him.

“You okay?” I asked him with a frown.

He shook his head. “What about you?”

I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say. I had so many mixed emotions right now. I wasn’t sad. I suppose anger could describe my mood the best. But I didn’t know why I was so angry to the extent that I felt like screaming my lungs out.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally.

I turned to him so fast my head spun for a while. “What?” Even Robin turned to look at him.

Kevin sighed. “I know it’s hard to believe, but… I don’t want us to be fighting anymore.”

Phoebe gasped and quickly tried to change his mind about it by pointing at her leg. “L-look at what he did to me! How can you forgive him like that?!”

He let her hand go. “Don’t talk bullshit with me. I saw you take the cast off when you came over to my house yesterday.”

I did my very best to suppress my smile, but Robin laughed out loud. Since we were still at the funeral and they were taking John, away it seemed a bit disrespectful and we were all looked down upon. But I couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“He really did hurt me!” Phoebe continued.

“I know,” Kevin told her, “I know you didn’t make up that part. You didn’t go to the hospital for nothing. But to put a fake cast really was low of you.”

“What about… What about the kiss? You were so mad at it before!”

Kevin made a face. “You know better than to start on that after the discussion we had yesterday.”

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