The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

50 Shades of Levi.

50 Shades of Levi.

After the match, I tried to slip away.

He couldn’t take me anywhere if he didn’t have my number, or he didn’t agree to meet me later.

Know what that means? That means that if he doesn’t see me I won’t be forced to go anywhere.

I slipped away into my toilet without being seen. It was empty now as all the girls were on the pitch pretending to be interested in football. There were girls there that genuinely wanted to watch the match and enjoy a game, but these girls were over shadowed by the screams of the girls who just wanted to get a boys attention. I think sometimes they purposefully cheered for the wrong team to make themselves look stupid. They were that group of girls that thought that a boy wanted someone who he felt like needed him. The boys probably thought that, who was I to know?

I sat on the cubicle with my legs crossed. I was really trying not to think about Jason, but that lead to think about it. I was disappointed with myself. I don’t know why I had let myself get into this situation. Why had I let him so physically close to me all these times kidding myself that he was doing this only to me? I was an idiot. I had fed into that stupid fairy-tale. I was the ‘innocent shy girl’ and Jason was the ‘popular boy’ and by some unseen means we got together. My life wasn’t a book nor was it a movie so why did I allow myself to fantasize like that?

The only good thing that had come from all this was that I had learnt. I wasn’t a self-loathing person (Ok sometimes I could be), but I knew that Jason was out of my league. My mind and imagination had sold me the biggest dreams. And I had bought them. 

Jesus, I sounded like Drake. I took my I-pod, scrolled through my albums and stopped on Drakes Take Care. I knew this would put me in a worse mood, but at this point I didn’t care. I wanted myself to feel bad so that I wouldn’t fall for something like this again.

The cubicle door next to me opened. I never played my music too loud in the toilet in case someone heard. I looked down. It was football boots.

I smiled inside. He really never used the boy’s toilets.

“So what time we meeting today?” I remained silent. I didn’t think he was speaking to me. How would he even know it was me, or if he was even talking to me? He could have easily been on the phone or just testing a theory.

Anyway, if I remained silent and my heart behaved he wouldn’t know I was in the cubicle next to him.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he said, “I know you’re next to me Satiah. “ My heart raced. All possibilities were running through my head. Had he ran into Natasha and she told him that I hide in the toilets? Had he followed me? If he noticed then imagine who else noticed?

No, Satiah calm down. If you remain quiet, then he can’t prove that you’re next door.

Or should we flush the toilet? Maybe he doesn’t know that we’ve been in here for 10 minutes?

He might think that we’ve done a poo, but that’s better than him knowing what we really do here?

It’s better to cut our losses. Let’s flush the toilet. Yes just like that. Now open the cubicle door and wash your hands. Very naturally. Like you do this every day instead of sitting in the cubicle for hours.

A few seconds later, Levi opened his door and washed his hands besides me. I stood washing my hands. Levi watched me through the mirror.

I didn’t know how much he knew, so it was better to say less so he couldn’t call me liar or I wouldn’t reveal anything.