Torment

The Answers

Millions of questions start to emerge. So many questions flood inside my brain.

I begin by saying, "For a start, how come I have different scar tissue on my stomach." It's still there, isn't it?

He replies, "Yes it is. It almost seems like a gun wound, except for the fact that it has healed too quickly."

The gun...

"And so I never went to a beach or park or dark alley. I wasn't in any situation like that?"

He stares at me, puzzled yet intrigued by such a weird question, but answers, "No. At least, not in the past couple of days."

"So you never tried to kill me?" I ask. I just have to make sure...

He blinks in astonishment before rushing to respond: "No! Of course not! Why would I?"

I also have to ask this: "So when you were looking at me in the ward that day, you weren't stabbed in the back by someone." Please say he wasn't....

"No, no, no! Right, some of these things - I'll just call them nightmares - seem to be so vivid that you seem to recall them as real memories. They aren't all true!" he responds to me, obviously exasperated. "Is there anything you want me to talk to you about? Like family, friends?"

He trails off, probably thinking he was too outspoken. I think he was but I can forgive him this once. I have to think of a question which he wouldn't consider as crazy.

"How is Tess?" I question. He quickly looks through the file he brought with him before scanning a certain page.

He murmurs to himself, "Ah, your elder sister." He doesn't realise he had said this aloud - I can tell as soon as I nod to agree with the statement.

"And Matt?" I query.

"Okay," he says. "All about your boyfriend. Your friend is fine - he wants to see you as soon as possible."

That's fantastic!

"Except for the fact that you have physically and mentally scarred him for life."

Well, there had to be something. What had I done? He was doing the bad stuff to me... Hang on. I scratched really badly some time, didn't I?

He sees the look of realisation on my face. He opens his mouth to speak, then thinks better of it. Probably not wanting to tell me about the mutilation I caused on his back.

An awkward silence follows. I have to gather my thoughts. I had been saving this question for last.

And it is: "What happened to my parents?"

He sighs, obviously not wanting to tell me anything. He really doesn't want to tell me, but he can't not tell me. "Well. Well... er... it seems that they are missing."

I gasp involuntarily. My parents are missing. Alive - I'd be really happy. Dead - I hope I would eventually get over it. Missing? I don't even know whether they are alive or dead!

My heart sinks and my eyes blink, trying to remove all traces of those words. Missing,

It breaks my heart. So I whisper my goodbyes to my friends and family and let go.