Chapter 17:Canvas of Scars
A/N: Make sure to read the note at the end, loves.
I sat there staring at her in shock. She said it, out loud. She told me that she loved me. My heart swelled and my face prepared to break into a jaw breaking smile. I was elated; the warmth in my chest couldn’t be compared to any other moment in my life.
Then my brain started working again. I knew Kantelle, and she hated hurting people. I know that she would be beating herself up because she couldn’t return my feelings. As much as I hated to admit it, she probably didn’t even realize what she was saying. She’d had a long day; her emotions were in chaos…she’d be happy and smiling one moment, crying in another. My heart dropped. I couldn’t let myself be happy now, because she would undoubtedly regret her words later. I looked as she stared up at me with her bright green eyes, and I couldn’t find a hint of regret in them. She gazed at me with an unidentifiable look in her eyes, but I couldn’t let myself look too far into it. Oh, but how I wanted to. How I wanted to kiss her and pull her in my arms, hold her tight and tell her to say those three words again and again. I swallowed and stiffened my spine.
“I think you should go to sleep now, you’ve had a long day,” I said softly. Her lips puckered slightly in a frown, and her eyebrows pushed together.
“What?” she asked, looking somewhat confused. Her expression was so adorable, it was a physical strain for me to not haul her toward me and kiss her until I couldn’t breathe.
“You need to rest,” I said, putting my hands on her slender shoulders and gently guiding her to lie back against the pillows. Her hands shot out and gripped my forearms lightly.
“Malichi, I-,” she started, but I put a finger to her lips and gave her a gentle smile.
“Rest,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. She breathed out of her nose in a huff and seemed to be frustrated.
“Malichi!” she said, squeezing her hands on my arms. I smiled again and gently pried her hands away and pulled the blankets up over her.
“Goodnight,” I said, allowing myself the pleasure of stroking her face one more time before I walked out of her room, turning off the light on my way out.
I walked briskly to my room and went straight into the bathroom. I turned the cold water on, not even bothering with warm and stripped quickly, hopping in. As the cold water beat down on me, cooling the heat that seemed to be rushing through me I sighed.
I would wait for her as long as she needed…I would let her develop feelings for me at her own pace, but I would try my hardest to make her love me as much as I loved her. The only way I’ll stop is if she tells me she doesn’t want me…but I right now, I will keep trying. I washed my body robotically as I thought of ways to woo and romance her. I had to make her fall for me…really love me. I would be heartbroken forever if I didn’t succeed.
I stared at the dim outline of the door in the dark room. He had just walked out. He didn’t let me talk, let me explain. He. Walked. Out.
I sat there in the same position he left me in, gaping at the door he’d disappeared out of about ten minutes ago. I had whiplash; when I said it, I could see the happiness shining in his eyes…then in quickly faded and was replaced with a cautious, almost wary look. He didn’t believe me. I could see it, and it hurt. I know he didn’t mean for it to hurt me…he was trying to protect me, trying to give me time to adjust. I didn’t need time though, I needed him. He was the only thing that kept me sane after the events of today. Without him, I would have probably had a huge mental breakdown…even now, because he wasn’t near me I felt the fear from my stepfather’s beating and attempted rape creeping back into my veins, and I was quickly feeling overwhelmed again. I laughed quietly to myself at the irony of all of it…Malichi didn’t want to overwhelm me with his love, but that was the only thing keeping all the bad emotions at bay.