Flying Hawk Lullaby

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If I had the words to describe my first time, I’d use them. But every word in my vocabulary I found lacking. All the adjectives meant nothing. All I knew was his touch set me on fire and I just wanted closer. A point came when I couldn’t get any closer and I had to be satisfied with the touch of his bare skin against mine.

It was blissful, it was fulfilling, and it was an explosion.

When it was over, I fell asleep, wrapped up in his blanket, limbs tangled with his. I didn’t get to sleep long because he had to wake me up so I could meet Luke at midnight.

“Ana,” he whispered. “Wake up.”

I moaned and snuggled closer to him. He chuckled, his arms wrapping tighter around me. I’d fallen asleep on his bare chest, the warmth of his body warming my skin. I kept my eyes closed and snuggled my face against him.

“No, no. You can’t go back to sleep.”

“Yes…”

His hand came up and tilted my face up. He kissed me and my body reacted instantly. My hands slid across his skin, one snaking down under the covers and…

“No.” He chuckled again, pulling my hand back up and intertwining our fingers. “We don’t have time for that either.”

“I don’t want to go. I’m perfectly happy right here.”

I finally opened my eyes and looked at him.

“I don’t want you to leave either but unless you want Luke to come looking for you, we both have to get up and get dressed.”

Even that wasn’t enough to tempt me out of bed. I closed my eyes and snuggled my face closer to his neck. He groaned.

“You’re making this…hard,” he said.

I smiled and kissed his throat. He shivered, his hand tightening around mine.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I whispered.

“And I don’t want you to leave but…”

I sighed and opened my eyes. “But I gave my word.”

Somehow we managed to tear ourselves away from each other to get dressed. He chose to don his tux again so Luke wouldn’t get too suspicious. I sat back down on the bed to slip my shoes back on. He sat down next to me and took my hand when I was done.

“I’m giving this back,” he said. “With a new addition.”

He held up the bracelet stretched out over his fingers. I looked closely and noticed the new charm, a hawk in flight.

“Aidan…”

He closed his hand and put it in my open one.

“It’s always belonged to you. I don’t know why you gave it back in the first place.”

“I meant what I wrote,” I said softly. “In the letter…”

“I know…” his face losing its smile for the first time, “and I know you still want to do what’s right. But I know you want to be with me. I need you to let me make that choice for myself. You don’t like it when people decide for you, please don’t do it for me.”

I searched his face, and everything there told me he was serious, he was sincere.

“Are you sure?” I said softly.

He nodded. “I’m choosing to be with you. That’s my choice.”

I kissed him and he quivered. He touched my face and his hand slid back into my hair. He tugged lightly, tipping my head back. He ran kisses down my neck, stopping at the top of my dress.

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